For some, it is challenging to know if you have found the one but if we are clear about the fact that you teach people how to treat you and that they respond to you in whatever way that you allow them to then knowing if a guy is the one for you becomes a bit easier.
I’ll just write what comes to my head…
How do you feel in his presence? How is he treating you when he is with you? Do you feel as though you have his complete attention when he is with you? Does he make you feel as though he wants to be with you? Does he disrespect you in any way?
Does he put you down or insult you? Does he flirt or come onto other women when he is with you? Does he make you feel as though the reason he isn’t is because you are there? Subtle, but important…Does he verbally or physically abuse you? Does he cheat on you?
If he makes you feel uncomfortable in any way then chances are he is not Mr. Right. If he makes you feel that you are a thorn in his side, he is not Mr. Right. If he makes you feel like you are annoying him or stepping onto his turf then he is not the one. If he cares more about what his friends or other people think of him than you do, not the One. If there are too many queens in the castle, he is not the one.
There are many different examples I could list and I am sure that you can fill in some of your own from your own experiences and those of your friends.
How he makes you feel when you are with him helps you to determine whether or not this is the guy for you. This is why it is important for you to be very picky about who you choose to spend your time and affection with. Why reward a guy if he is not doing anything to be rewarded for? What is the point of rewarding bad behavior?
But then again, if he treats you like this and you are still with him and giving him your time and energy, what does that say about you?
On the other hand, if he makes you feel like you are the only one for him and consistently acts this way, then you may have found your dime. If he makes you feel like he would do anything for you and the thought of being with another woman or cheating on you never enters his mind, then you may have found the one.
If he calls you up during the day just to say hi, what’s up; if he surprises you and does nice things for you without you even having to ask; if he lets everybody who will listen know that you are his lady; if he makes you feel comfortable in his presence and makes you feel like he is there to defend you even though you don’t really need him to be there, chances are…
This is a man that is clearly hooked on you. Why? Because you behaved in a way that made him know that you do not settle for less than you deserve. You have self respect and you can take him or leave him. Either way you will be okay.
If you behave in this way all the time, Mr. Right will stand out because he will be looking for a lady with self-respect.
When you have high self-esteem, you make fewer mistakes. Even if you have made a few, doesn’t matter because starting today you can change, become a lady who does not settle for scraps, take back control of your love life and manage to get Mr. Right hooked on you.
Later ladies
Monday, October 18, 2010
Sunday, October 17, 2010
You teach people how to treat you
Very often, we get into relationships with men who we really should not have even allowed to talk to us let alone touch us.
I’m serious. These are the men who should be happy we even blink in their direction.
I wonder why we do it. I think a lot of it has to do with self-esteem. How do you view yourself? How much value do you place on yourself? How much pride do you take in yourself?
Sometimes I hear stories of women who are in abusive relationships, in relationships with men who are cheating, in relationships with married men or men who have girlfriends, men who are flaky and wishy-washy, men who still won’t propose after 5+ years. I mean really?
They complain about the treatment they are receiving but yet cannot seem to walk away from these men and these waste of time and energy relationships.
What is it about a man who is not treating you well that makes you want to cling to him and not let him go? What is it?
It is clear that he is not worth your time or energy so why is it so hard to let go of someone who treats you like crap?
It goes right back to your self-esteem and self worth. What do you really think about yourself?
Do you think that you are beautiful and that you deserve a loving relationship?
Do you think that you have a lot going for you? Do you really?
Do you think that your life has meaning?
Have you found your passion?
Do you think that you deserve to be with a man who treats you with respect?
Do you think that you deserve to be with a man who only has eyes for you?
Do you think that you deserve to be with a man who only wants to date you and be in a committed relationship with you?
Do you think that you deserve to be with a man who sees your value and acts accordingly?
Do you think that you deserve to be with a man who knows that you are the one he wants to marry?
If the answer to all of these questions is yes, why is it that so many of us stay in relationships with men who are not treating us as we deserve to be treated?
You teach people how to treat you. If you don’t treat yourself with respect because you do not know or do not believe in your true value, how can you expect the man you are involved with at some farcical level to treat you any better?
It cannot work.
You set the tone for how you want to be treated. You show him how you want and expect to be treated because you are aware of your worth. If he cannot deal with that, if he cannot step up to the plate, then he can move right along.
You cannot be that desperate for a relationship that you accept the scraps a man throws at you because he thinks he is above treating you as you deserve.
Ladies if he is not treating you as you deserve to be treated, MOVE ON! NEXT…
If it sounds ruthless and heartless, then you really do not know your worth. To find your dime, you be a dime.
If you see yourself as you truly are, you are on your way to having the life and love that you want.
I particularly like Calling Men and Man mistake Eraser because they help you to put you in a position of power and control. It is from this place that you get exactly what you want and deserve!
Later
Alyssa K
I’m serious. These are the men who should be happy we even blink in their direction.
I wonder why we do it. I think a lot of it has to do with self-esteem. How do you view yourself? How much value do you place on yourself? How much pride do you take in yourself?
Sometimes I hear stories of women who are in abusive relationships, in relationships with men who are cheating, in relationships with married men or men who have girlfriends, men who are flaky and wishy-washy, men who still won’t propose after 5+ years. I mean really?
They complain about the treatment they are receiving but yet cannot seem to walk away from these men and these waste of time and energy relationships.
What is it about a man who is not treating you well that makes you want to cling to him and not let him go? What is it?
It is clear that he is not worth your time or energy so why is it so hard to let go of someone who treats you like crap?
It goes right back to your self-esteem and self worth. What do you really think about yourself?
Do you think that you are beautiful and that you deserve a loving relationship?
Do you think that you have a lot going for you? Do you really?
Do you think that your life has meaning?
Have you found your passion?
Do you think that you deserve to be with a man who treats you with respect?
Do you think that you deserve to be with a man who only has eyes for you?
Do you think that you deserve to be with a man who only wants to date you and be in a committed relationship with you?
Do you think that you deserve to be with a man who sees your value and acts accordingly?
Do you think that you deserve to be with a man who knows that you are the one he wants to marry?
If the answer to all of these questions is yes, why is it that so many of us stay in relationships with men who are not treating us as we deserve to be treated?
You teach people how to treat you. If you don’t treat yourself with respect because you do not know or do not believe in your true value, how can you expect the man you are involved with at some farcical level to treat you any better?
It cannot work.
You set the tone for how you want to be treated. You show him how you want and expect to be treated because you are aware of your worth. If he cannot deal with that, if he cannot step up to the plate, then he can move right along.
You cannot be that desperate for a relationship that you accept the scraps a man throws at you because he thinks he is above treating you as you deserve.
Ladies if he is not treating you as you deserve to be treated, MOVE ON! NEXT…
If it sounds ruthless and heartless, then you really do not know your worth. To find your dime, you be a dime.
If you see yourself as you truly are, you are on your way to having the life and love that you want.
I particularly like Calling Men and Man mistake Eraser because they help you to put you in a position of power and control. It is from this place that you get exactly what you want and deserve!
Later
Alyssa K
Monday, September 20, 2010
When he says he needs space - That's fine, you need your space too!
Hey ladies,
Still on the needing space issue.
Often, you will realize that guys won’t say anything about needing space until they have been pulling back for a while, acting distant, not calling or whatever else they do to make you want to pull your hair out trying to figure out what’s wrong.
Freaking annoying you will agree...
It’s only when you realize that they are acting distant for a days on a stretch that you realize something is up and then, you ask “uhmm, is there something wrong?”
They deny that anything is wrong and then after you prod a bit more, it usually comes out “I just need some space”.
This is after you’ve suffered through the distant behavior and made yourself sick thinking you are losing them.
Sounds familiar? It makes you want to strangle them.
The key is of course NOT getting to this point.
But what if you have reached this point with a man? What do you do now?
I’ll tell you what you do not do. You do NOT open your eyes as wide as saucers and start to have a quivering bottom lip.
You do NOT ask him what he means or ask him if it means you are breaking up and then throwing a fit if he says yes, begging him to stay.
You audibly (this is important) breathe a huge sigh of relief and tell him that you have been feeling the same way and it’s good that HE brought it up. You need some space too…
You need a freaking break too.
See now if he thought that you needed him around you that badly, he was sadly mistaken.
LOL, that’s how you start correcting that mistake.
But now, understand that if he said that, your attraction quotient has fallen somewhat. Now you have to ramp it back up and become insanely attractive to him again.
That is where this gem that was clearly a hit this summer comes in!
It is not just enough to tell him that you need your space.
You have to SHOW him. Therein lies the challenge!
But ladies, when you have met and overcome that challenge, it’s a whole new world for you and the men in your life!
Just remember, you need your space too…
Works wonders I tell ya!
Love
Alyssa K
Still on the needing space issue.
Often, you will realize that guys won’t say anything about needing space until they have been pulling back for a while, acting distant, not calling or whatever else they do to make you want to pull your hair out trying to figure out what’s wrong.
Freaking annoying you will agree...
It’s only when you realize that they are acting distant for a days on a stretch that you realize something is up and then, you ask “uhmm, is there something wrong?”
They deny that anything is wrong and then after you prod a bit more, it usually comes out “I just need some space”.
This is after you’ve suffered through the distant behavior and made yourself sick thinking you are losing them.
Sounds familiar? It makes you want to strangle them.
The key is of course NOT getting to this point.
But what if you have reached this point with a man? What do you do now?
I’ll tell you what you do not do. You do NOT open your eyes as wide as saucers and start to have a quivering bottom lip.
You do NOT ask him what he means or ask him if it means you are breaking up and then throwing a fit if he says yes, begging him to stay.
You audibly (this is important) breathe a huge sigh of relief and tell him that you have been feeling the same way and it’s good that HE brought it up. You need some space too…
You need a freaking break too.
See now if he thought that you needed him around you that badly, he was sadly mistaken.
LOL, that’s how you start correcting that mistake.
But now, understand that if he said that, your attraction quotient has fallen somewhat. Now you have to ramp it back up and become insanely attractive to him again.
That is where this gem that was clearly a hit this summer comes in!
It is not just enough to tell him that you need your space.
You have to SHOW him. Therein lies the challenge!
But ladies, when you have met and overcome that challenge, it’s a whole new world for you and the men in your life!
Just remember, you need your space too…
Works wonders I tell ya!
Love
Alyssa K
Friday, September 17, 2010
What does "I need space" mean?
Have you ever found yourself in a relationship, having what you think is the time of your life, everything is all rosy,
all of a sudden your boyfriend says “I just need some space,” or “maybe we just need some space”?
What the hell does that mean?
I know some of you would start to freak out and think that this is the end of the relationship. This is it, you are breaking up, end of the road, how could he do this to you... and on and on with the negative thoughts.
But wait, not so fast…
What if that is all it means? Maybe you do need space away from each other because:
Think about it honestly for a minute...
You have been spending way too much time together and one (or both of you) is beginning to feel smothered and you need some time to breathe
The spark you had at the beginning is fizzling out and the attraction he had for you is waning
The relationship is going too fast and he wants to slow it down
You both need some alone time to collect your thoughts, handle personal business, reflect on yourself, the relationship, to regroup, etc…
It is possible to have too much of a good thing and too much of a good thing can ruin it.
Ever heard the term familiarity breeds contempt?
Well in the case of relationships, it breeds contempt, boredom, loss of attraction and a possible break-up...
The objective in any relationship is to keep the spark alive and preserve some of the mystery.
Without the spark, the chemistry, the attraction whatever you want to call it the relationship is doomed.
The only way you can do that is to spend some time away from each other to regroup and rekindle the spark.
How do you do that?
Whenever you hear “I need some space” from a man, well you heard him, give him his space!
But there is a way to do it so that he comes looking for you because you have yet again become so incredibly attractive to him all of a sudden.
You no longer make mistakes, you are now on point and have him exactly where you want him.
He said he wanted his space but suddenly he can't get enough of you! He's hooked...
And another one bites the dust! Hahaha!
Later ladies
Alyssa K
all of a sudden your boyfriend says “I just need some space,” or “maybe we just need some space”?
What the hell does that mean?
I know some of you would start to freak out and think that this is the end of the relationship. This is it, you are breaking up, end of the road, how could he do this to you... and on and on with the negative thoughts.
But wait, not so fast…
What if that is all it means? Maybe you do need space away from each other because:
Think about it honestly for a minute...
You have been spending way too much time together and one (or both of you) is beginning to feel smothered and you need some time to breathe
The spark you had at the beginning is fizzling out and the attraction he had for you is waning
The relationship is going too fast and he wants to slow it down
You both need some alone time to collect your thoughts, handle personal business, reflect on yourself, the relationship, to regroup, etc…
It is possible to have too much of a good thing and too much of a good thing can ruin it.
Ever heard the term familiarity breeds contempt?
Well in the case of relationships, it breeds contempt, boredom, loss of attraction and a possible break-up...
The objective in any relationship is to keep the spark alive and preserve some of the mystery.
Without the spark, the chemistry, the attraction whatever you want to call it the relationship is doomed.
The only way you can do that is to spend some time away from each other to regroup and rekindle the spark.
How do you do that?
Whenever you hear “I need some space” from a man, well you heard him, give him his space!
But there is a way to do it so that he comes looking for you because you have yet again become so incredibly attractive to him all of a sudden.
You no longer make mistakes, you are now on point and have him exactly where you want him.
He said he wanted his space but suddenly he can't get enough of you! He's hooked...
And another one bites the dust! Hahaha!
Later ladies
Alyssa K
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Statistics - Don't be a nickle looking for a dime...
Hey,
So I came across this song the other day and I thought hmmm...interesting...food for thought.
I won't say anymore for now...but you know that I can pick this to pieces...you already know me, right? lol
Statistics - Lyfe Jennings
25% of all men are unstable
25% of all men can't be faithful
30% of them don't mean what they say
and 10% of the remaining 20 are gay
That leaves you with 10% chance of ever finding your man
That means you better pay attention to these word that I say
I'm gonna teach how to expose the 90%
And show you what to do to get the other 10
(chorus)
RULE #1
Don't be a booty call
If he don't respect you girl he gone forget you girl
AND 2
If he's in a relationship
And he would cheat on her that means he would cheat on you
RULE 3
Tell him that you're celibate
and if he want some of your goodies he gone have to work for it
RULE 4
Be the person you wanna find
Don't be a nickle out here lookin' for a dime
STATISTICS
(verse 2)
15% of all men got a complex
15% of all men don't practice safe sex
20% of them are from homes without a father
so there's a 50/50 chance that you'll marry a coward
something to think about when you're taking a shower
something to swallow when you drink your bottled water
I'm gonna teach how to expose the 90%
And show you what to do to get the other 10
(chorus)
(bridge)
Be patient
He's waitin'
you don't gotta settle for less
leave all that stress alone
get you a backbone
stop being sorry for yourself
Chances make champions
It's gonna take patience
Time is still wastin'
Listen to the song and watch the video over in the Videos/Podcasts section :)
Later Ladies
Alyssa K
P.S I would be remiss if I didn't let you in on the fun some of my readers are having. Click here and order your hard copy. Make the wrongs right and pre-empt any more mistakes! Be the one that gets him all hot and bothered and voila..he's hooked on you!
Absolutely amazing! I love it!
So I came across this song the other day and I thought hmmm...interesting...food for thought.
I won't say anymore for now...but you know that I can pick this to pieces...you already know me, right? lol
Statistics - Lyfe Jennings
25% of all men are unstable
25% of all men can't be faithful
30% of them don't mean what they say
and 10% of the remaining 20 are gay
That leaves you with 10% chance of ever finding your man
That means you better pay attention to these word that I say
I'm gonna teach how to expose the 90%
And show you what to do to get the other 10
(chorus)
RULE #1
Don't be a booty call
If he don't respect you girl he gone forget you girl
AND 2
If he's in a relationship
And he would cheat on her that means he would cheat on you
RULE 3
Tell him that you're celibate
and if he want some of your goodies he gone have to work for it
RULE 4
Be the person you wanna find
Don't be a nickle out here lookin' for a dime
STATISTICS
(verse 2)
15% of all men got a complex
15% of all men don't practice safe sex
20% of them are from homes without a father
so there's a 50/50 chance that you'll marry a coward
something to think about when you're taking a shower
something to swallow when you drink your bottled water
I'm gonna teach how to expose the 90%
And show you what to do to get the other 10
(chorus)
(bridge)
Be patient
He's waitin'
you don't gotta settle for less
leave all that stress alone
get you a backbone
stop being sorry for yourself
Chances make champions
It's gonna take patience
Time is still wastin'
Listen to the song and watch the video over in the Videos/Podcasts section :)
Later Ladies
Alyssa K
P.S I would be remiss if I didn't let you in on the fun some of my readers are having. Click here and order your hard copy. Make the wrongs right and pre-empt any more mistakes! Be the one that gets him all hot and bothered and voila..he's hooked on you!
Absolutely amazing! I love it!
Summer 2010 is almost over! Which guy is hooked on you?
Hi Ladies,
How did it go? How was summer 2010?
As far as I am concerned it is pretty much over but I hope that you had lots of fun being the best you that you could be!
I know I had fun! I also took some time out to answer emails because they continued to come in and I like to give feedback to you as soon as possible!
I picked up quite a few tidbits to share with you over the summer and I will do that over the course of the next few weeks!
I am now back in full force and will not be mincing words in the second half of this year.
You know what to do so just continue doing it!
I am well aware of the fun that some of you have been having this summer with this one.
Works wonders doesn't it? Yes, it erases mistakes but more than that...
You read it, have some aha moments, use the techniques, start feeling really good about yourself, empowered enough to make some bold, brazen steps to change YOU and your relationship and you get the men in your life to sit up and pay attention!
Win, Win!
What else could you ask for?
So who did you manage to work your charms on? Which guy did you get hooked on you?
No worries, if you haven't achieved it just yet though. Only a matter of time!
Alyssa K
How did it go? How was summer 2010?
As far as I am concerned it is pretty much over but I hope that you had lots of fun being the best you that you could be!
I know I had fun! I also took some time out to answer emails because they continued to come in and I like to give feedback to you as soon as possible!
I picked up quite a few tidbits to share with you over the summer and I will do that over the course of the next few weeks!
I am now back in full force and will not be mincing words in the second half of this year.
You know what to do so just continue doing it!
I am well aware of the fun that some of you have been having this summer with this one.
Works wonders doesn't it? Yes, it erases mistakes but more than that...
You read it, have some aha moments, use the techniques, start feeling really good about yourself, empowered enough to make some bold, brazen steps to change YOU and your relationship and you get the men in your life to sit up and pay attention!
Win, Win!
What else could you ask for?
So who did you manage to work your charms on? Which guy did you get hooked on you?
No worries, if you haven't achieved it just yet though. Only a matter of time!
Alyssa K
Friday, July 23, 2010
He does not want to commit to you - what should your next move be?
Hey Ladies,
I’ve been in bed with the flu. I was having fun with the World Cup, summer BBQs, parties, concerts and my blogging of course, and then suddenly, I had the flu and was confined to my house :(
Anyway, I’m getting back on my feet slowly.
That didn’t stop the emails though. I have some stories for you.
I heard a really sad story of a break-up this week.
“Mya” had been seeing a guy for 7 years. They started going steady in their late teens. She had been convinced that he was the one that she was going to spend the rest of her life with. During this time, there had been red flags that she should have paid attention to but she ignored them.
Red flags:
-He used to disappear for days on end without calling her. When she called him the phone would often be turned off and she wouldn’t be able to get hold of him at all.
-She would enquire after him and his mother would say that he was spending the night at a friend’s house. The friend was female by the way.
-He never talked about his future with her in it, never mentioned the word marriage or anything about taking the relationship further.
-He refused to entertain the idea of her moving in with him
-She forced him to buy her a ring and in the end he did, begrudgingly no doubt.
-There were photos of him on Facebook with other women clearly enjoying himself without her.
This week he broke up with her and two days later she saw him at a party with another lady whom he was very affectionate with. She went ballistic and made a scene but that is another story…
Ladies, pay attention to all red flags!
When you find yourself in a relationship with a man who does not seem to know whether he wants to commit to you or not, it is time for you to pull out.
Pull out and cease communication. There is nothing else for you two to discuss. The only man that you give your attention to is the one who is hooked on you for the person whom you are.
It is not that he is not quite sure what he wants. It is not that he is too busy or has to focus on his career or get himself together before he figures out whether he wants to be with you or not.
Men know whether you are the one they want to be with long term or not. The only thing that a man who is not taking a relationship with you forward is sure about is that he does not want to take it with YOU to the next level.
You know when you feel this disconnect because you then try everything you can to keep him from walking out the door. You beg for a ring; you ask him if you can move in with him; you ask him why he hasn’t given you a key to his place; you try to control him and his every move in an attempt to hold on to him. That will always have the opposite effect.
You shouldn’t have to do that much to get a man to stay with you. Why do you feel that you need to? Okay so you have made a few mistakes. Things did not go as planned and suddenly you are in this awful place that your former thoughts created.
So what do you do? Do you want to stay there or go to a better feeling place? It’s your call…
This is where you have to know yourself and who you are at the core, know what you want from a relationship, go after what you want and settle for nothing less. This is where you let go of fear and start to think like a beautiful, confident woman who is in total control of her life and who she spends her precious time with. You will be happy either way because you do not need him to make you happy and complete.
Okay, so he doesn’t want to commit to you. His loss…
You are now 100% focused on you. You are learning from your mistakes. You are now “the one” for YOU. Suddenly you are a brand new lady that he (whoever he is) gets to spend time with if he plays his cards right…
Can you say hooked anyone?
P.S Join the discussion on the fan page on this topic!
I’ve been in bed with the flu. I was having fun with the World Cup, summer BBQs, parties, concerts and my blogging of course, and then suddenly, I had the flu and was confined to my house :(
Anyway, I’m getting back on my feet slowly.
That didn’t stop the emails though. I have some stories for you.
I heard a really sad story of a break-up this week.
“Mya” had been seeing a guy for 7 years. They started going steady in their late teens. She had been convinced that he was the one that she was going to spend the rest of her life with. During this time, there had been red flags that she should have paid attention to but she ignored them.
Red flags:
-He used to disappear for days on end without calling her. When she called him the phone would often be turned off and she wouldn’t be able to get hold of him at all.
-She would enquire after him and his mother would say that he was spending the night at a friend’s house. The friend was female by the way.
-He never talked about his future with her in it, never mentioned the word marriage or anything about taking the relationship further.
-He refused to entertain the idea of her moving in with him
-She forced him to buy her a ring and in the end he did, begrudgingly no doubt.
-There were photos of him on Facebook with other women clearly enjoying himself without her.
This week he broke up with her and two days later she saw him at a party with another lady whom he was very affectionate with. She went ballistic and made a scene but that is another story…
Ladies, pay attention to all red flags!
When you find yourself in a relationship with a man who does not seem to know whether he wants to commit to you or not, it is time for you to pull out.
Pull out and cease communication. There is nothing else for you two to discuss. The only man that you give your attention to is the one who is hooked on you for the person whom you are.
It is not that he is not quite sure what he wants. It is not that he is too busy or has to focus on his career or get himself together before he figures out whether he wants to be with you or not.
Men know whether you are the one they want to be with long term or not. The only thing that a man who is not taking a relationship with you forward is sure about is that he does not want to take it with YOU to the next level.
You know when you feel this disconnect because you then try everything you can to keep him from walking out the door. You beg for a ring; you ask him if you can move in with him; you ask him why he hasn’t given you a key to his place; you try to control him and his every move in an attempt to hold on to him. That will always have the opposite effect.
You shouldn’t have to do that much to get a man to stay with you. Why do you feel that you need to? Okay so you have made a few mistakes. Things did not go as planned and suddenly you are in this awful place that your former thoughts created.
So what do you do? Do you want to stay there or go to a better feeling place? It’s your call…
This is where you have to know yourself and who you are at the core, know what you want from a relationship, go after what you want and settle for nothing less. This is where you let go of fear and start to think like a beautiful, confident woman who is in total control of her life and who she spends her precious time with. You will be happy either way because you do not need him to make you happy and complete.
Okay, so he doesn’t want to commit to you. His loss…
You are now 100% focused on you. You are learning from your mistakes. You are now “the one” for YOU. Suddenly you are a brand new lady that he (whoever he is) gets to spend time with if he plays his cards right…
Can you say hooked anyone?
P.S Join the discussion on the fan page on this topic!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
How to Become an Irresistible Woman - 3 Reasons Why You Must Change Your Mindset
Just imagine you being so irresistible that people, men and women are just drawn to you. What do you think that would do to your relationships? What do you think that would do to the relationship that you now have with your significant other?
It can only get better!
Suddenly you are no longer thinking that your relationships are going nowhere; that all the men in your life are all losers; that you are not being treated the way that you deserve to be treated; that no one wants to go out with you; that if you break up with the guy in your life because he is just not cutting it, that no one else will want you.
Suddenly, you realize that in order to get what it is that you want out of dating and your relationships that you have to change the way you think! What happens when you stop thinking like you were before and think happier, more fun thoughts?
1. You feel a whole lot better, more optimistic, more confident and more energetic about life. You are no longer afraid of making mistakes! When you get into that place, then you want to take action to get the sort of dating experiences and relationships that you want and settle for nothing less.
2. You are more radiant and magnetic. As you begin to feel better, you radiate more positive energy to all around you. That is what people respond to most. That is the type of energy that draws the type of people you want to be around to you.
3. You feel more feminine and therefore draw men to you. Men respond to feminine energy. When you get into that place where you are feeling so much better about yourself and comfortable about who you are and what you stand for and just happy being you, that's when you become an irresistible woman and that's when you have more men approaching you than you know what to do with. That's when the man in your life starts to open up to you more!
Congratulations! You are now in the zone!
It can only get better!
Suddenly you are no longer thinking that your relationships are going nowhere; that all the men in your life are all losers; that you are not being treated the way that you deserve to be treated; that no one wants to go out with you; that if you break up with the guy in your life because he is just not cutting it, that no one else will want you.
Suddenly, you realize that in order to get what it is that you want out of dating and your relationships that you have to change the way you think! What happens when you stop thinking like you were before and think happier, more fun thoughts?
1. You feel a whole lot better, more optimistic, more confident and more energetic about life. You are no longer afraid of making mistakes! When you get into that place, then you want to take action to get the sort of dating experiences and relationships that you want and settle for nothing less.
2. You are more radiant and magnetic. As you begin to feel better, you radiate more positive energy to all around you. That is what people respond to most. That is the type of energy that draws the type of people you want to be around to you.
3. You feel more feminine and therefore draw men to you. Men respond to feminine energy. When you get into that place where you are feeling so much better about yourself and comfortable about who you are and what you stand for and just happy being you, that's when you become an irresistible woman and that's when you have more men approaching you than you know what to do with. That's when the man in your life starts to open up to you more!
Congratulations! You are now in the zone!
How To Become An Irresistible Woman - 10 questions for self-evaluation
Hey Ladies,
Every woman wants to feel sexy, seductive, alluring and confident, like she has total control over all aspects of her life and emotions.
It is the feeling of complete control and empowerment. I know I love to feel that way. What about you?
It's that feeling where you think that everything is just as it should be and that nothing could go wrong. If things do go wrong, that's okay, because it's a matter of failing forward. Every failure is just one step closer to success as long as your perspective is as it should be.
It is this feeling deep inside that makes you irresistible almost magnetic to all those with whom you come into contact including the man in your life or the guys whom you are dating.
So how do you see yourself and how do you feel about the way you see yourself? When you answer these questions, let your feelings be your guide.
Do you know who you are and are you comfortable with who you are, as you are right now?
If not, why not?
Who has told you that you are anything less than who you know yourself to be deep within?
More importantly, why are you listening to them?
Are you still seeking happiness?
Can you be happy right where you are now? List some reasons why you can.
What about practising feeling a little bit better about who you are today, tomorrow and the day after that? Find simple ways to do that.
What if you could feel confident and ready to take on the world every single day?
Would you do what it takes to achieve that?
Even though you cannot get everything right when it comes to dating, does that make you any less of a person?
This self analysis is important because others see you as you see yourself. The men in your life see you as you see yourself. When you get to the point where you feel confident and irresistible every single day, then you become an irresistible woman.
When you see yourself as being irresistible and magnetic, your love life and your relationship experiences have to change to mirror who you have become!
Ciao
Every woman wants to feel sexy, seductive, alluring and confident, like she has total control over all aspects of her life and emotions.
It is the feeling of complete control and empowerment. I know I love to feel that way. What about you?
It's that feeling where you think that everything is just as it should be and that nothing could go wrong. If things do go wrong, that's okay, because it's a matter of failing forward. Every failure is just one step closer to success as long as your perspective is as it should be.
It is this feeling deep inside that makes you irresistible almost magnetic to all those with whom you come into contact including the man in your life or the guys whom you are dating.
So how do you see yourself and how do you feel about the way you see yourself? When you answer these questions, let your feelings be your guide.
Do you know who you are and are you comfortable with who you are, as you are right now?
If not, why not?
Who has told you that you are anything less than who you know yourself to be deep within?
More importantly, why are you listening to them?
Are you still seeking happiness?
Can you be happy right where you are now? List some reasons why you can.
What about practising feeling a little bit better about who you are today, tomorrow and the day after that? Find simple ways to do that.
What if you could feel confident and ready to take on the world every single day?
Would you do what it takes to achieve that?
Even though you cannot get everything right when it comes to dating, does that make you any less of a person?
This self analysis is important because others see you as you see yourself. The men in your life see you as you see yourself. When you get to the point where you feel confident and irresistible every single day, then you become an irresistible woman.
When you see yourself as being irresistible and magnetic, your love life and your relationship experiences have to change to mirror who you have become!
Ciao
Monday, July 12, 2010
Where can I go to meet guys -Part 2
Hey,
Ok so the World Cup is now over. Congratulations to Spain!
That however does not mean that you give up on going to sports bars or getting out of the house.
Listen do not even try it. I know there are many ladies who prefer to stay at home for a whole long list of reasons lol...
To become super confident, strut your stuff and practise all these tips and techniques, you have to get up and go out! The more you do it the easier it becomes.
There is still a whole lot of summer left. Whenever you hear a major game being advertised, make an effort to go. I have already explained why in an earlier post.
The objective here is just to increase your chances of meeting people.
But assuming that some of you are now sick to death of sports and sports bars for a while lol, (sorry but I had to make sure you did it) here are some other suggestions of where you can meet quality men this summer:
Workplace (although I would use with caution)
College/University
Church
Bookstore
Library
Supermarket
Beach
Park
Mall
Concerts
Get togethers’ at friends’ houses
Art galleries, exhibitions
Poetry readings/Open mics
Online
These are just places I could think of off the top of my head as I give some other ideas to try. Remember that we are doing things differently for summer 2010. No more of the same!
Do things that you like and follow your passions but step out of your comfort zone and try something you have never done before.
When you go out, remember the easy dating challenge where you smile, flirt and have fun?
Every time you go out, you do the same thing. You rinse and repeat lol
That's all you do and they will approach. Then depending on how many you meet and how the "meetings" progress, you get to practise being selective!
Can any of you think of any other places? Have any of you ever met a quality guy anywhere else? Any funny stories to share?
Alyssa K
Ok so the World Cup is now over. Congratulations to Spain!
That however does not mean that you give up on going to sports bars or getting out of the house.
Listen do not even try it. I know there are many ladies who prefer to stay at home for a whole long list of reasons lol...
To become super confident, strut your stuff and practise all these tips and techniques, you have to get up and go out! The more you do it the easier it becomes.
There is still a whole lot of summer left. Whenever you hear a major game being advertised, make an effort to go. I have already explained why in an earlier post.
The objective here is just to increase your chances of meeting people.
But assuming that some of you are now sick to death of sports and sports bars for a while lol, (sorry but I had to make sure you did it) here are some other suggestions of where you can meet quality men this summer:
Workplace (although I would use with caution)
College/University
Church
Bookstore
Library
Supermarket
Beach
Park
Mall
Concerts
Get togethers’ at friends’ houses
Art galleries, exhibitions
Poetry readings/Open mics
Online
These are just places I could think of off the top of my head as I give some other ideas to try. Remember that we are doing things differently for summer 2010. No more of the same!
Do things that you like and follow your passions but step out of your comfort zone and try something you have never done before.
When you go out, remember the easy dating challenge where you smile, flirt and have fun?
Every time you go out, you do the same thing. You rinse and repeat lol
That's all you do and they will approach. Then depending on how many you meet and how the "meetings" progress, you get to practise being selective!
Can any of you think of any other places? Have any of you ever met a quality guy anywhere else? Any funny stories to share?
Alyssa K
Saturday, July 10, 2010
NOW ON FACEBOOK!
Hey Ladies
Just to let you know that we are now on FB. Send a friend request to Alyssa Kay and I'll add you or alternatively Become a Fan by clicking on the "like" button on the right!
I won't send out any requests from the mailing list I have, I leave this completely up to you.
FB will be used primarily for alerts and links to new blog posts, videos and newly published articles and anything else I think you'd like.
Once the weekly relationship tips start I can send them to all of you via private messaging on FB.
We'll be on Twitter soon too!
Talk to you later!
love
Alyssa K
Just to let you know that we are now on FB. Send a friend request to Alyssa Kay and I'll add you or alternatively Become a Fan by clicking on the "like" button on the right!
I won't send out any requests from the mailing list I have, I leave this completely up to you.
FB will be used primarily for alerts and links to new blog posts, videos and newly published articles and anything else I think you'd like.
Once the weekly relationship tips start I can send them to all of you via private messaging on FB.
We'll be on Twitter soon too!
Talk to you later!
love
Alyssa K
Friday, July 9, 2010
Should I give him a second chance
Hey ladies,
Just wanted to point out something that I realized a few months ago and you can tell me what you think.
I hate to generalize but this is what it seems like in any case.
You ever realize that guys give us one chance? We don’t get multiple chances. They have this idea of what you should be like and if you are not it they move on.
Not much thinking going on there…they make it look easy.
Meanwhile, you are still there wondering why he doesn’t call you or if he feels the same way about you as you feel about him; why he never does what he says he’s going to do; does he want to get more serious; does he want to marry you…
So why do we continue to give them chance after chance after chance?
This is where you have to know who you are at the core and what you are willing and not willing to put up with.
No one can help you with this, ladies.
What is it that you want from your relationships or your interaction with men you meet and date?
When you know exactly who you are and what you want, then it is very easy to be selective and no-nonsense.
You can have all the fun you want at the same time because you know what you are looking for and will not settle just because you feel like this is it and you will not get another chance with another guy ever again.
I’ll say it again, if one guy is NOT meeting your standards…
Move on…because there are many, many others right around the corner, never forget that and that’s the best part!
When you find yourself thinking too much and becoming frustrated, then you know that something is not quite right.
You have moved away from who you truly are, what you really want and are willing to put up with.
When you find that carefree, fun loving place again, that’s when it becomes easier to do what you know has to be done!
Much love
Alyssa K
Just wanted to point out something that I realized a few months ago and you can tell me what you think.
I hate to generalize but this is what it seems like in any case.
You ever realize that guys give us one chance? We don’t get multiple chances. They have this idea of what you should be like and if you are not it they move on.
Not much thinking going on there…they make it look easy.
Meanwhile, you are still there wondering why he doesn’t call you or if he feels the same way about you as you feel about him; why he never does what he says he’s going to do; does he want to get more serious; does he want to marry you…
So why do we continue to give them chance after chance after chance?
This is where you have to know who you are at the core and what you are willing and not willing to put up with.
No one can help you with this, ladies.
What is it that you want from your relationships or your interaction with men you meet and date?
When you know exactly who you are and what you want, then it is very easy to be selective and no-nonsense.
You can have all the fun you want at the same time because you know what you are looking for and will not settle just because you feel like this is it and you will not get another chance with another guy ever again.
I’ll say it again, if one guy is NOT meeting your standards…
Move on…because there are many, many others right around the corner, never forget that and that’s the best part!
When you find yourself thinking too much and becoming frustrated, then you know that something is not quite right.
You have moved away from who you truly are, what you really want and are willing to put up with.
When you find that carefree, fun loving place again, that’s when it becomes easier to do what you know has to be done!
Much love
Alyssa K
Does playing hard to get work? 3 reasons why it does
Does it really work ?
There are many ladies who wonder "does playing hard to get work?". Some even dismiss the idea because they claim that it is just playing games.
Although I do not particularly care for the term "playing hard to get", there are many reasons why the concept behind the term works so well.
In fact, it is not really about playing games or putting on a show. It is not supposed to be a game where you are playing with someone else's feelings or pretending to be something you are not.
It's more about the way in which you hold yourself. It's about not giving yourself away to the first guy who pays you some attention and whom you happen to like.
If you really do have a full life; have things going for you; have projects you are working on, then you are not really "playing hard to get", are you? You are hard to get. You have a life and therefore cannot be available and at his beck and call every time he wants to see you or talk to you.
Something may or may not happen between you two. That's fine. It is not a big deal either way. This may or may not be the man you are meant to have a relationship with. If it is meant to happen, it will happen without you having to give yourself away then, won't it?
What you do not do is pretend to be busy or unavailable when you are not. All that means is that you are not being yourself and at this point you are playing games. What you do is to continue doing all the things that you have been doing until now and not make him a priority. That's how you "play hard to get".
Here are just three reasons why it works:
1. It helps you to determine how interested he is in you and how serious he is about getting to know you. If you continue to do what you have always done and not make him a priority, he has to keep himself in your mind and in your life. If he is interested he will do that by calling you and scheduling time to see you despite your full life.
2. You work with human nature not against it. People always want what they cannot have. It is human nature.
If you are busy with work, classes, friends, projects and all the little things that make you a well-rounded, radiant, fun individual, then it means that you do not have the time to focus solely on him. You become elusive and scarce. Then you become a challenge to him. He will try to call you and see you more often. The challenge is now to get your attention.
3. It raises your value. When you do not give yourself away and are not always available, it raises your value in his eyes. If you are always available to him, he will begin to take you for granted. He can have you at any time so your value drops. Why are blue diamonds so expensive? Because they are rare and hard to acquire. Suddenly, you are that rare blue diamond he has to have.
The concept behind "playing hard to get" works. When you change your perspective, suddenly playing hard to get takes on a whole new meaning.
Alyssa K
There are many ladies who wonder "does playing hard to get work?". Some even dismiss the idea because they claim that it is just playing games.
Although I do not particularly care for the term "playing hard to get", there are many reasons why the concept behind the term works so well.
In fact, it is not really about playing games or putting on a show. It is not supposed to be a game where you are playing with someone else's feelings or pretending to be something you are not.
It's more about the way in which you hold yourself. It's about not giving yourself away to the first guy who pays you some attention and whom you happen to like.
If you really do have a full life; have things going for you; have projects you are working on, then you are not really "playing hard to get", are you? You are hard to get. You have a life and therefore cannot be available and at his beck and call every time he wants to see you or talk to you.
Something may or may not happen between you two. That's fine. It is not a big deal either way. This may or may not be the man you are meant to have a relationship with. If it is meant to happen, it will happen without you having to give yourself away then, won't it?
What you do not do is pretend to be busy or unavailable when you are not. All that means is that you are not being yourself and at this point you are playing games. What you do is to continue doing all the things that you have been doing until now and not make him a priority. That's how you "play hard to get".
Here are just three reasons why it works:
1. It helps you to determine how interested he is in you and how serious he is about getting to know you. If you continue to do what you have always done and not make him a priority, he has to keep himself in your mind and in your life. If he is interested he will do that by calling you and scheduling time to see you despite your full life.
2. You work with human nature not against it. People always want what they cannot have. It is human nature.
If you are busy with work, classes, friends, projects and all the little things that make you a well-rounded, radiant, fun individual, then it means that you do not have the time to focus solely on him. You become elusive and scarce. Then you become a challenge to him. He will try to call you and see you more often. The challenge is now to get your attention.
3. It raises your value. When you do not give yourself away and are not always available, it raises your value in his eyes. If you are always available to him, he will begin to take you for granted. He can have you at any time so your value drops. Why are blue diamonds so expensive? Because they are rare and hard to acquire. Suddenly, you are that rare blue diamond he has to have.
The concept behind "playing hard to get" works. When you change your perspective, suddenly playing hard to get takes on a whole new meaning.
Alyssa K
Thursday, July 8, 2010
How to know if a guy is interested in you - 5 ways to tell
Hey,
Stop wondering whether he is interested or not or how interested he is. Just observe...
Very often, we may be interested in a man but we are not quite sure if the feeling is mutual.
Sometimes men send mixed signals. They flirt with you, pay you compliments and are genuinely nice to you. But then when he isn't really taking any other steps to get to know you, you start to wonder if he is interested in you on a romantic level or if he is just being overly friendly.
The majority of the time we make it more complicated than it really is. The bottom line is if a guy is interested, he'll make it known and we will not have to guess and do any mental gymnastics to determine whether or not he is interested.
Unless he is extremely shy or has other personal issues, if a man is interested in you, he will let you know fairly quickly because he will want to make sure that he has your full attention. Don't you realize that men thrive on attention?
If you have toanalyse him or the situation, then chances are he is not interested and certainly not interested enough in you to make a move to call you or ask you out despite the signals he is sending.
Here are the top ways to know if a guy is interested:
1. He will call you - even if it is just to hear your voice and see how you are doing; how your day has been. He will call you because he is thinking about you.
2. He will ask you out. He wants to see you and spend more time with you to get to know you. If you agree to go out with him then he will know that you are interested in him as well.
3. He will schedule a second date with you as soon as he can. If you had a good time on the first date and he is genuinely interested in seeing you again, he will schedule another date with you sometimes just as the first date is ending.
Other times, it may take a few days but the point is he will make sure that he keeps himself penciled into your schedule. Why? Because he wants to spend time with you.
4. He will schedule a third, a fourth, a fifth date and so on. This is self explanatory and along the same lines as the Point 3.
5. He will keep his word. If he says that he will do something he will. If he says he will call you or meet you at a certain time, he will do as he says. If he has to cancel or reschedule a date, he will do so ahead of time and not stand you up.
If a man is doing the above, he is genuinely interested in you, likes you and likes being around you. The above actions are his way of showing you that. That is all you need to pay attention to: his actions.
Ignore the mixed signals. Just look at what he does and if he follows through. You'll find out what you want to know without having to say a word or expend unnecessary energy.
Exercise self control and you will have your answers!
Alyssa K
Stop wondering whether he is interested or not or how interested he is. Just observe...
Very often, we may be interested in a man but we are not quite sure if the feeling is mutual.
Sometimes men send mixed signals. They flirt with you, pay you compliments and are genuinely nice to you. But then when he isn't really taking any other steps to get to know you, you start to wonder if he is interested in you on a romantic level or if he is just being overly friendly.
The majority of the time we make it more complicated than it really is. The bottom line is if a guy is interested, he'll make it known and we will not have to guess and do any mental gymnastics to determine whether or not he is interested.
Unless he is extremely shy or has other personal issues, if a man is interested in you, he will let you know fairly quickly because he will want to make sure that he has your full attention. Don't you realize that men thrive on attention?
If you have toanalyse him or the situation, then chances are he is not interested and certainly not interested enough in you to make a move to call you or ask you out despite the signals he is sending.
Here are the top ways to know if a guy is interested:
1. He will call you - even if it is just to hear your voice and see how you are doing; how your day has been. He will call you because he is thinking about you.
2. He will ask you out. He wants to see you and spend more time with you to get to know you. If you agree to go out with him then he will know that you are interested in him as well.
3. He will schedule a second date with you as soon as he can. If you had a good time on the first date and he is genuinely interested in seeing you again, he will schedule another date with you sometimes just as the first date is ending.
Other times, it may take a few days but the point is he will make sure that he keeps himself penciled into your schedule. Why? Because he wants to spend time with you.
4. He will schedule a third, a fourth, a fifth date and so on. This is self explanatory and along the same lines as the Point 3.
5. He will keep his word. If he says that he will do something he will. If he says he will call you or meet you at a certain time, he will do as he says. If he has to cancel or reschedule a date, he will do so ahead of time and not stand you up.
If a man is doing the above, he is genuinely interested in you, likes you and likes being around you. The above actions are his way of showing you that. That is all you need to pay attention to: his actions.
Ignore the mixed signals. Just look at what he does and if he follows through. You'll find out what you want to know without having to say a word or expend unnecessary energy.
Exercise self control and you will have your answers!
Alyssa K
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
How to get a man to call you - Less is more
Hey ladies,
What do you do when the guy that you like never calls but sends you a text when he wants to ask you out on a date or talk to you?
If you have no problem with this as a sole or primary method of communication with the guy you are dating or seeing, then ignore all the advice in this article.
If however, you are bothered in the least by the fact that he is not calling you to have a proper conversation or worse, if he asks you out via a text message, then you have take some sort of action to let him know that you would prefer a phone call and that text messaging is unacceptable as a primary form of communication.
To get a man to call you instead of sending text messages is very simple.
Simply stop responding to his texts. You have two choices when you receive the text. You can either read the text and not respond or simply not read it so that you are not tempted to respond. This works for three main reasons.
1. Men do not understand words, only action. You could tell him that you prefer having a phone conversation instead of a text marathon or you could show him. By not responding, you have cut communication with him. That is what men respond to.
2. When he realizes that you are no longer responding to his texts, he will instantly know that something is wrong and he will call you to find out what's wrong. At that point, you can then simple tell him that you prefer to have phone conversations and all that text messaging does your head in. That is all you need to say.
3. You get exactly what you want which is for him to call you instead of text messaging you and he now gets what he wants because you are no longer ignoring him. Win Win...
No need to say or do anything else. Less is more.
Alyssa K
What do you do when the guy that you like never calls but sends you a text when he wants to ask you out on a date or talk to you?
If you have no problem with this as a sole or primary method of communication with the guy you are dating or seeing, then ignore all the advice in this article.
If however, you are bothered in the least by the fact that he is not calling you to have a proper conversation or worse, if he asks you out via a text message, then you have take some sort of action to let him know that you would prefer a phone call and that text messaging is unacceptable as a primary form of communication.
To get a man to call you instead of sending text messages is very simple.
Simply stop responding to his texts. You have two choices when you receive the text. You can either read the text and not respond or simply not read it so that you are not tempted to respond. This works for three main reasons.
1. Men do not understand words, only action. You could tell him that you prefer having a phone conversation instead of a text marathon or you could show him. By not responding, you have cut communication with him. That is what men respond to.
2. When he realizes that you are no longer responding to his texts, he will instantly know that something is wrong and he will call you to find out what's wrong. At that point, you can then simple tell him that you prefer to have phone conversations and all that text messaging does your head in. That is all you need to say.
3. You get exactly what you want which is for him to call you instead of text messaging you and he now gets what he wants because you are no longer ignoring him. Win Win...
No need to say or do anything else. Less is more.
Alyssa K
Should I tell him I love him - 4 ways to assess the situation
Hey,
I got this question a few times recently.
If we have been dating or seeing a guy for a while, we become more and more into him until we feel like we have fallen head over heels in love with him.
We spend more and more time with him and things are going so well that we feel compelled to tell him exactly how we feel.
I am all for honesty and being up front and direct with people but I tend to err on the side of caution where men are concerned and I never go faster than they do. In other words, if a man has not said "I love you" nor hinted at it, then I will not say it.
Some women say that if you want to tell a man that you love him, you should just go right ahead and tell him. What's the worst that can happen, right?
Well, if you had that same mindset, then you wouldn't be asking the question "should I tell him that I love him?" You would just have told him.
Here's how you can access the situation though and make a decision. Mull over the following questions.
1. What is it that you are hoping to gain by telling him that you love him? Do you hope that by telling him that that you and he will become closer and that your bond will deepen? Are you hoping that it will take your relationship to the next level? Are you hoping that he feels the same way about you?
2. How long have you been seeing each other? Remember that men and women view dating and relationships very differently and although you have been seeing him for six months and feel like you have fallen in love, he might not feel the same way. Has he been dropping any hints that he may love you too?
3. How would you feel if he did not say it back to you or doesn't that matter? Are you sufficiently detached from the outcome of any such conversation so that if you say it and he does not respond in kind that you could simply say "well, it doesn't matter but I love you and I wanted you to know that". Seriously, if this is the way you feel, then by all means tell him.
4. Are you prepared to face the possibility that he may not feel the same way and that your telling him that may spook him and send him running in the next direction? If that were to happen, do you know how to reverse that situation?
I am really not trying to be pessimistic here but these are valid questions that I think you should mull over. Once you have assessed the situation and you accept that you are taking on a big risk, then go for it! When you take a big risk, it either pays great dividends or you lose everything.
If you are positive that he is hooked on you, then take the risk!
If not, don't do it!
You'll be putting yourself in a position that you do not want to be in.
There is another way.
How about inspiring him to fall in love with you by being the beautiful, sexy confident, no-nonsense lady that you are! No fear of making any mistakes with him because you are in control of you, your emotions and who you give your heart to and who you let in.
Now, how about getting him to say he loves you and wants no one but you... UNPROMPTED!
How do you think you would feel then? He is saying it because he means it with no prompting from you.
Correct ladies, correct...Now that would be quite an achievement!
Alyssa K
I got this question a few times recently.
If we have been dating or seeing a guy for a while, we become more and more into him until we feel like we have fallen head over heels in love with him.
We spend more and more time with him and things are going so well that we feel compelled to tell him exactly how we feel.
I am all for honesty and being up front and direct with people but I tend to err on the side of caution where men are concerned and I never go faster than they do. In other words, if a man has not said "I love you" nor hinted at it, then I will not say it.
Some women say that if you want to tell a man that you love him, you should just go right ahead and tell him. What's the worst that can happen, right?
Well, if you had that same mindset, then you wouldn't be asking the question "should I tell him that I love him?" You would just have told him.
Here's how you can access the situation though and make a decision. Mull over the following questions.
1. What is it that you are hoping to gain by telling him that you love him? Do you hope that by telling him that that you and he will become closer and that your bond will deepen? Are you hoping that it will take your relationship to the next level? Are you hoping that he feels the same way about you?
2. How long have you been seeing each other? Remember that men and women view dating and relationships very differently and although you have been seeing him for six months and feel like you have fallen in love, he might not feel the same way. Has he been dropping any hints that he may love you too?
3. How would you feel if he did not say it back to you or doesn't that matter? Are you sufficiently detached from the outcome of any such conversation so that if you say it and he does not respond in kind that you could simply say "well, it doesn't matter but I love you and I wanted you to know that". Seriously, if this is the way you feel, then by all means tell him.
4. Are you prepared to face the possibility that he may not feel the same way and that your telling him that may spook him and send him running in the next direction? If that were to happen, do you know how to reverse that situation?
I am really not trying to be pessimistic here but these are valid questions that I think you should mull over. Once you have assessed the situation and you accept that you are taking on a big risk, then go for it! When you take a big risk, it either pays great dividends or you lose everything.
If you are positive that he is hooked on you, then take the risk!
If not, don't do it!
You'll be putting yourself in a position that you do not want to be in.
There is another way.
How about inspiring him to fall in love with you by being the beautiful, sexy confident, no-nonsense lady that you are! No fear of making any mistakes with him because you are in control of you, your emotions and who you give your heart to and who you let in.
Now, how about getting him to say he loves you and wants no one but you... UNPROMPTED!
How do you think you would feel then? He is saying it because he means it with no prompting from you.
Correct ladies, correct...Now that would be quite an achievement!
Alyssa K
How to get a man to commit to you - 3 fun and easy ways to do it
hey ladies,
When you start thinking "does he want a relationship with me?"; "I need to know where I stand with him"; "Why won't he marry me?"; "does he want to get married?", then something isn't right. You have to nip this in the bud quickly.
Some women go through this all the time and it gets worse as the relationship drags on. We go through all sorts of mental gymnastics on how to get the guy we are dating to commit to a relationship with us or how to get our boyfriends to commit to marriage.
Somehow we have been conditioned to expect that any man whom we are seeing or dating at the time should be the man we are meant to be with for all eternity especially if the relationship has been a long term one. We somehow expect that the guy whom we are dating and to whom we have grown attached should feel the same way and want to commit to us.
But what if you changed the way that you perceive things? What if it didn't matter to you that much anymore? What if enjoying life and not taking it so seriously ranked as high as or higher than getting a commitment with the guy who is dragging his feet on it?
You know what it is that you want which for many of you is a committed relationship with a man who loves and respects you and who would do anything for you, right?
But who is to say that this will happen with the man you are currently with? It doesn't matter if you have been with him five months or five years. There is no way to tell and you cannot coerce him or dish out ultimatums. In any case, that's really no fun for you, is it?
Why not do it the fun way? Here are three easy tips that will inspire any man to want commit to you:
1. Realise that you cannot force a man to do anything that he does not want to do but you can inspire him to want to commit to you. You have to adopt the type of attitude which conveys to him that he is okay for now but you are not quite sure if you want to be with him always.
That is, in essence, what men do all the time anyway so why not take a page out of that book? Remember that he is one of hundreds of men that you could potentially have a good relationship with and it's good that you always have the presence of mind to keep your options open.
2. Detach yourself from any outcome with him. If you two happen to end up in a committed relationship or get married, then that would be a pleasant surprise but right now all you do is to enjoy the time you spend with him and stop thinking about whether he is "the one" or not. When you do that he realizes that you like having him around but your life is not dependent on whether or not he stays around.
3. Start to enjoy your freedom. What is it that you like to do? Start doing more of that, having more fun, putting you first and spending less time with him. When he realizes that you are not too keen on roping him in for a commitment, he'll start to wonder whether or not you even like being with him or having him around. He'll start wondering whether or not you want to commit to him. And that is where you want him...
Before you know it, you are in a committed relationship with a guy who just doesn't want to let you go.
What did you do? You simply changed your perspective and got him hooked on you!
When you start thinking "does he want a relationship with me?"; "I need to know where I stand with him"; "Why won't he marry me?"; "does he want to get married?", then something isn't right. You have to nip this in the bud quickly.
Some women go through this all the time and it gets worse as the relationship drags on. We go through all sorts of mental gymnastics on how to get the guy we are dating to commit to a relationship with us or how to get our boyfriends to commit to marriage.
Somehow we have been conditioned to expect that any man whom we are seeing or dating at the time should be the man we are meant to be with for all eternity especially if the relationship has been a long term one. We somehow expect that the guy whom we are dating and to whom we have grown attached should feel the same way and want to commit to us.
But what if you changed the way that you perceive things? What if it didn't matter to you that much anymore? What if enjoying life and not taking it so seriously ranked as high as or higher than getting a commitment with the guy who is dragging his feet on it?
You know what it is that you want which for many of you is a committed relationship with a man who loves and respects you and who would do anything for you, right?
But who is to say that this will happen with the man you are currently with? It doesn't matter if you have been with him five months or five years. There is no way to tell and you cannot coerce him or dish out ultimatums. In any case, that's really no fun for you, is it?
Why not do it the fun way? Here are three easy tips that will inspire any man to want commit to you:
1. Realise that you cannot force a man to do anything that he does not want to do but you can inspire him to want to commit to you. You have to adopt the type of attitude which conveys to him that he is okay for now but you are not quite sure if you want to be with him always.
That is, in essence, what men do all the time anyway so why not take a page out of that book? Remember that he is one of hundreds of men that you could potentially have a good relationship with and it's good that you always have the presence of mind to keep your options open.
2. Detach yourself from any outcome with him. If you two happen to end up in a committed relationship or get married, then that would be a pleasant surprise but right now all you do is to enjoy the time you spend with him and stop thinking about whether he is "the one" or not. When you do that he realizes that you like having him around but your life is not dependent on whether or not he stays around.
3. Start to enjoy your freedom. What is it that you like to do? Start doing more of that, having more fun, putting you first and spending less time with him. When he realizes that you are not too keen on roping him in for a commitment, he'll start to wonder whether or not you even like being with him or having him around. He'll start wondering whether or not you want to commit to him. And that is where you want him...
Before you know it, you are in a committed relationship with a guy who just doesn't want to let you go.
What did you do? You simply changed your perspective and got him hooked on you!
Saturday, July 3, 2010
How to become irresistible to men - How is your thinking?
SUMMER 2010
Your perspective is changing! A shift is taking place!
I am happy to hear that many of you are taking steps in the right direction.
I know that you have heard this a million times but I’ll say it again.
What is the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results…
At some point, you have to say enough is enough. If it’s not working, I need to change something I am doing and quick!
I have actually spoken to some of you who have had astounding results with Man Mistake Eraser. Way to go!
Yes, I told you when you download through the blog, I offer one on one advice if you need it, didn't I?.
You want to know how to regain his interest?
how to get him to realise your value, your worth?
how to get him to see that you mean business?
how to meet guys that are worth your time?
I sense your frustration...
When you realize that what you are doing is not working the way you’d like it to, you become frustrated but that frustration is your first step ladies…
Then you start to think,
This is nonsense.
How many times is this going to happen to me?
I’ve had enough
Well this is the last time
I deserve more and I want more
I’m pretty attractive. I look good and I feel good.
Heck, I'm beautiful.
I can go out right now and I’ll be sure to have the time of my life
This is my life. I’m going to live it to the fullest.
I am free and I’m going to enjoy my freedom
I want to have fun and I’m going to have fun with or without him.
I have one life and it all happens here and now :-)
I know what I want and I’m going to get it
And while, I’m at it, who knows, I might meet a cool, quality guy I get along really well with.
But by George, I am going to enjoy my freedom right now and have some fun!
When you start having these sorts of thoughts more often during the day, that, ladies, is when all sort of good things begin happening in you!
Once that shift starts in you, it can only be seen and FELT by others including the man in your life!
That is how you put all the wrong things right and get what you truly want!
Get what it is that you really want.
Combine the above with some proven strategies outlined in Man Mistake Eraser and watch what happens! Offer still stands when you download through my blog!
Love it!!! This is your summer ladies! Something has got to give!
Much love
Alyssa K
Your perspective is changing! A shift is taking place!
I am happy to hear that many of you are taking steps in the right direction.
I know that you have heard this a million times but I’ll say it again.
What is the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results…
At some point, you have to say enough is enough. If it’s not working, I need to change something I am doing and quick!
I have actually spoken to some of you who have had astounding results with Man Mistake Eraser. Way to go!
Yes, I told you when you download through the blog, I offer one on one advice if you need it, didn't I?.
You want to know how to regain his interest?
how to get him to realise your value, your worth?
how to get him to see that you mean business?
how to meet guys that are worth your time?
I sense your frustration...
When you realize that what you are doing is not working the way you’d like it to, you become frustrated but that frustration is your first step ladies…
Then you start to think,
This is nonsense.
How many times is this going to happen to me?
I’ve had enough
Well this is the last time
I deserve more and I want more
I’m pretty attractive. I look good and I feel good.
Heck, I'm beautiful.
I can go out right now and I’ll be sure to have the time of my life
This is my life. I’m going to live it to the fullest.
I am free and I’m going to enjoy my freedom
I want to have fun and I’m going to have fun with or without him.
I have one life and it all happens here and now :-)
I know what I want and I’m going to get it
And while, I’m at it, who knows, I might meet a cool, quality guy I get along really well with.
But by George, I am going to enjoy my freedom right now and have some fun!
When you start having these sorts of thoughts more often during the day, that, ladies, is when all sort of good things begin happening in you!
Once that shift starts in you, it can only be seen and FELT by others including the man in your life!
That is how you put all the wrong things right and get what you truly want!
Get what it is that you really want.
Combine the above with some proven strategies outlined in Man Mistake Eraser and watch what happens! Offer still stands when you download through my blog!
Love it!!! This is your summer ladies! Something has got to give!
Much love
Alyssa K
Tips on being feminine - Turn up the heat for summer 2010
Hey again!
Now it's summer and it's way too hot to be wearing layers of clothing! So have you donned those summer dresses and skirts yet?
Another very simple way to get your guy or the guy that you like to become fixated on you is just to be more feminine. Act like a lady, walk like a lady, talk like a lady...
Allow the sexy, confident, alluring you to shine through for summer 2010. Ever notice how some women get guys that they do not even know to do anything for them WITHOUT asking?
Now if that can happen with a man that you do not even know, don't you think that's it's even easier with a man you are dating or seeing long term?
Goes back to that secret we always talk about. The vibe, the aura...that vibe is intoxicating to men. Mix a summer dress with that and you'll be killer!
SO use it to your advantage!
Men are designed to respond to feminine energy. They CANNOT help it.
Time to turn up the heat! Below are some tips on how to be feminine.
1. Sit down and think back to times when you've felt especially feminine. Remember those moments in detail - How did you feel? What were you wearing? What were you doing? This is the first and most important step because it reveals what you consider to be feminine, and that's ultimately what matters most. Focus on those details, and work on recreating those conditions and that feeling in yourself.
2. Know the difference between being feminine and being girly. Being girly implies being feminine but in a youthful and materialistic sort of way. There's nothing wrong with that, but it's not the only way to be feminine. You can be 70 years old and wear a silk bathrobe and still be feminine because ultimately, you can still do the things that make you feel more like a woman.
3.Love every inch of your body. The body is what makes you a woman, so how can you be feminine if you don't embrace your female form? A woman's body naturally has a higher body fat percentage than that of a man, so don't dismiss your curves. On the other hand, part of loving your body is taking care of it, so don't dismiss your cholesterol levels, either. Fortunately, you don't have to look like a catwalk model to be reasonably healthy.
4.Be graceful. In most societies, women are thought to be more naturally graceful than men. There are always exceptions, of course, and it is totally up to you whether you choose gracefulness to be an expression of your femininity.
Generally, however, many women feel more feminine when they make smooth movements, rather than jerky, powerful ones. And, of course, consider the context. You might want to be fierce on the volleyball court or shooting range, and svelte at a bar or in the bedroom. There's no rule saying you have to be graceful (or feminine) all the time.
5. Dance. Dancing is an extension of your body, and through dance you can find ways to emphasize your femininity. Belly dancing (my personal favourite I should add), for example, accentuates the natural curves of a woman's form. A partner dance, like salsa or the waltz, can also help you feel more feminine because such dances are built upon the traditional differences between men and women--the man guides, while the woman follows and makes more fluid, extravagant movements.
6. Be playful. Let's ditch the whole idea that being feminine means being perfect and ethereal. For those times when grace is lacking and you fall flat on your face in the middle of a room, the true test of your femininity is your ability to laugh it off! Because think about it: Taking life too seriously isn't very feminine in most people's books, and it's not very healthy overall.
So smile a lot, flirt, tease, and play. Have fun! Ultimately, being feminine is about feeling at ease with yourself, and you can't feel at ease if you're too stiff and somber, so be the opposite: lighthearted and playful.
7. Wear comfortable, stylish, good-fitting feminine clothing. The clothing can either be tops, skirts, scarfs, underwear, hats, shoes, pants, socks, etc. Go shopping and browse some nice clothing stores and see what you find and what fits you well. The clothes do not have to be expensive! They can be lower priced and still look good.
8. Wear a little makeup. This step is not necessary, but will help in looking a little more feminine. Red and pink lipstick and neutral eyeshadows will help to create a feminine look. But remember, you do not need makeup. Only wear it if you want to. A natural look is always best.
9. Be confident in yourself. This is another important step to looking feminine, bright, healthy, and confident. Like the other step above, learning to love yourself is important. Having confidence will not only make you look more feminine mentally and physically, it will help you to be more independent and outstanding. Never give up on yourself, ever.
Have fun ladies! Knock em dead!
Alyssa K
Now it's summer and it's way too hot to be wearing layers of clothing! So have you donned those summer dresses and skirts yet?
Another very simple way to get your guy or the guy that you like to become fixated on you is just to be more feminine. Act like a lady, walk like a lady, talk like a lady...
Allow the sexy, confident, alluring you to shine through for summer 2010. Ever notice how some women get guys that they do not even know to do anything for them WITHOUT asking?
Now if that can happen with a man that you do not even know, don't you think that's it's even easier with a man you are dating or seeing long term?
Goes back to that secret we always talk about. The vibe, the aura...that vibe is intoxicating to men. Mix a summer dress with that and you'll be killer!
SO use it to your advantage!
Men are designed to respond to feminine energy. They CANNOT help it.
Time to turn up the heat! Below are some tips on how to be feminine.
1. Sit down and think back to times when you've felt especially feminine. Remember those moments in detail - How did you feel? What were you wearing? What were you doing? This is the first and most important step because it reveals what you consider to be feminine, and that's ultimately what matters most. Focus on those details, and work on recreating those conditions and that feeling in yourself.
2. Know the difference between being feminine and being girly. Being girly implies being feminine but in a youthful and materialistic sort of way. There's nothing wrong with that, but it's not the only way to be feminine. You can be 70 years old and wear a silk bathrobe and still be feminine because ultimately, you can still do the things that make you feel more like a woman.
3.Love every inch of your body. The body is what makes you a woman, so how can you be feminine if you don't embrace your female form? A woman's body naturally has a higher body fat percentage than that of a man, so don't dismiss your curves. On the other hand, part of loving your body is taking care of it, so don't dismiss your cholesterol levels, either. Fortunately, you don't have to look like a catwalk model to be reasonably healthy.
4.Be graceful. In most societies, women are thought to be more naturally graceful than men. There are always exceptions, of course, and it is totally up to you whether you choose gracefulness to be an expression of your femininity.
Generally, however, many women feel more feminine when they make smooth movements, rather than jerky, powerful ones. And, of course, consider the context. You might want to be fierce on the volleyball court or shooting range, and svelte at a bar or in the bedroom. There's no rule saying you have to be graceful (or feminine) all the time.
5. Dance. Dancing is an extension of your body, and through dance you can find ways to emphasize your femininity. Belly dancing (my personal favourite I should add), for example, accentuates the natural curves of a woman's form. A partner dance, like salsa or the waltz, can also help you feel more feminine because such dances are built upon the traditional differences between men and women--the man guides, while the woman follows and makes more fluid, extravagant movements.
6. Be playful. Let's ditch the whole idea that being feminine means being perfect and ethereal. For those times when grace is lacking and you fall flat on your face in the middle of a room, the true test of your femininity is your ability to laugh it off! Because think about it: Taking life too seriously isn't very feminine in most people's books, and it's not very healthy overall.
So smile a lot, flirt, tease, and play. Have fun! Ultimately, being feminine is about feeling at ease with yourself, and you can't feel at ease if you're too stiff and somber, so be the opposite: lighthearted and playful.
7. Wear comfortable, stylish, good-fitting feminine clothing. The clothing can either be tops, skirts, scarfs, underwear, hats, shoes, pants, socks, etc. Go shopping and browse some nice clothing stores and see what you find and what fits you well. The clothes do not have to be expensive! They can be lower priced and still look good.
8. Wear a little makeup. This step is not necessary, but will help in looking a little more feminine. Red and pink lipstick and neutral eyeshadows will help to create a feminine look. But remember, you do not need makeup. Only wear it if you want to. A natural look is always best.
9. Be confident in yourself. This is another important step to looking feminine, bright, healthy, and confident. Like the other step above, learning to love yourself is important. Having confidence will not only make you look more feminine mentally and physically, it will help you to be more independent and outstanding. Never give up on yourself, ever.
Have fun ladies! Knock em dead!
Alyssa K
Friday, July 2, 2010
How to spot Mr. Wrong
Hello,
It’s July now and I expect to hear only good things! How is the challenge going?
It’s almost over but you can extend it personally if you wish.
It’s good practice anyway.
You had some time to really get into the swing of things. You should have “easily dated” at least 10 guys between last week and this week. If you did that I am willing to bet that those guys approached, at least some of them anyway.
Yeah, don’t worry, I’m right there with you. You don’t think I’m going to tell you to do something I wouldn’t do myself right?
Just remember ladies, BE SELECTIVE and now you can afford to be.
Why? Because you now have CHOICES!
It’s fine if they approach and it’s fine to be friendly and flirtatious but remember that YOU are in control of who you spend your precious time with.
So if you have any of the following signs or clues coming out of the conversation you may have with any of these guys, wrap it up and move on.
It’s about being empowered and confident enough not to settle for anything less than you want or deserve. In the course of any follow up conversations as you are getting to know him
If he tells you:
1. He is not looking for anything serious
2. He does not want to settle down anytime soon, he just wants to have fun and date
3. He has a child and girlfriend
4. He's "separated" (i.e. married)
5. He wants to have a sex with no strings attached (i.e. booty call or friends with benefits)
Or if he:
1.Says he’ll call and doesn’t
2.Can’t keep his word
3.Can’t keep his story straight in the course of conversation
4.Cancels dates last minute
You simply smile and keep it moving. Do not argue with him, do not try to change him. Do not try to talk it out. There is nothing to talk about. What is there to talk about?
Now I am not saying that some of the situations above cannot lead to something more meaningful but that would be the exception not the rule.
If you know that you cannot handle any of the above, do not waste your time with him. Do not pretend to be okay with any of it if you are not. If you are sure that you want more, know what you want and go after it and DO NOT settle for less. If he is not cutting it ladies, cut him loose.
You know when a man is not cutting it. You can feel it in your gut. Put YOU as Number 1 and raise your standards.
And then suddenly, you realise you have this guy hooked on you and not wanting to let you go.
Talk to you later ladies! Keep having fun!
It’s July now and I expect to hear only good things! How is the challenge going?
It’s almost over but you can extend it personally if you wish.
It’s good practice anyway.
You had some time to really get into the swing of things. You should have “easily dated” at least 10 guys between last week and this week. If you did that I am willing to bet that those guys approached, at least some of them anyway.
Yeah, don’t worry, I’m right there with you. You don’t think I’m going to tell you to do something I wouldn’t do myself right?
Just remember ladies, BE SELECTIVE and now you can afford to be.
Why? Because you now have CHOICES!
It’s fine if they approach and it’s fine to be friendly and flirtatious but remember that YOU are in control of who you spend your precious time with.
So if you have any of the following signs or clues coming out of the conversation you may have with any of these guys, wrap it up and move on.
It’s about being empowered and confident enough not to settle for anything less than you want or deserve. In the course of any follow up conversations as you are getting to know him
If he tells you:
1. He is not looking for anything serious
2. He does not want to settle down anytime soon, he just wants to have fun and date
3. He has a child and girlfriend
4. He's "separated" (i.e. married)
5. He wants to have a sex with no strings attached (i.e. booty call or friends with benefits)
Or if he:
1.Says he’ll call and doesn’t
2.Can’t keep his word
3.Can’t keep his story straight in the course of conversation
4.Cancels dates last minute
You simply smile and keep it moving. Do not argue with him, do not try to change him. Do not try to talk it out. There is nothing to talk about. What is there to talk about?
Now I am not saying that some of the situations above cannot lead to something more meaningful but that would be the exception not the rule.
If you know that you cannot handle any of the above, do not waste your time with him. Do not pretend to be okay with any of it if you are not. If you are sure that you want more, know what you want and go after it and DO NOT settle for less. If he is not cutting it ladies, cut him loose.
You know when a man is not cutting it. You can feel it in your gut. Put YOU as Number 1 and raise your standards.
And then suddenly, you realise you have this guy hooked on you and not wanting to let you go.
Talk to you later ladies! Keep having fun!
How to be flirtatious
Flirting is, at its most basic, a way to meet potential mates and see if they are compatible. In some situations, such as at a dance or a party, flirting is the only way to open the door to a romantic relationship with someone you don't know and might not otherwise ever see again.
Because of all of this,flirting is a very important skill, and it's one that makes a lot of people nervous. There is an art of flirting , though, and it's an art that can be learned. Here are some pointers for you.
Steps
1. Flirting is fun, but only if you don't take it too seriously. Most of the time, you'll just flirt with someone for a short time and then maybe never talk to them again. If you always go in to flirting expecting to date or even marry the person you're flirting with, you're going to be very disappointed--and you'll probably seem a little desperate. Remember, you're just flirting.
2. Look approachable. Relax and smile. Use your body language to give signals that you are the fun person that you are, and to show that you're comfortable and confident. There's nothing to be nervous about.
3. Read body language. Do they appear interested in you? From the moment you see someone with whom you might want to flirt, you should read his or her body language. Once you're actually flirting with the person, body language is often the only way to tell if the person is actually interested in you. We all have a natural ability to read body language, but it's easy to misread signals, so be careful and take it slow. If you see one signal that indicates the person is interested in you, watch for other signals that might confirm that.
4. Make eye contact, but not for more than a moment or two. Do not stare. Just shoot the person a quick gaze, smile with your eyes, and then slowly look away. If you look back and notice the person looking back to meet your eyes, they're likely interested in flirting a bit.
5. Initiate a conversation with the person you're interested in. If you don't already know them simply make small talk. Perhaps the best way to strike up a conversation is to start with a simple observation which ends with a question: "Nice day, isn't it?" or "This place sure is packed, eh?" are just a couple examples. What you say isn't important. You don't really need an answer to the question; you are simply inviting the person to talk with you. If the person responds pleasantly, continue the conversation.
If the person doesn't respond or seems preoccupied or disinterested, he probably isn't interested in flirting with you. At the beginning of the conversation, you don't want to talk about anything personal. Talk about the environment around you, the show you just saw, etc., but don't talk much about yourself and don't ask the other person personal questions.
6. Gradually share information about yourself in a reciprocal manner. If this small talk goes well, proceed to share a little information about yourself--just something small like what you do for a living or how you liked the show you just saw, for example. At some point, of course, you'll want to introduce yourself and, hopefully, get the other person's name. The key to sharing information is that you both gradually open up. Take turns talking, and each time the other person gives you some information about himself, give similar information about yourself, and maybe give slightly more personal information than the guy gave. You don't want to share too much about yourself too quickly, and you shouldn't try to get the other person to do so either.
7. Give the person your complete attention. Laugh at their jokes, listen to their stories, and don't get distracted by what's going on around you. It's more important to seem interested than to seem interesting, and you don't want to hog the conversation. Being a good listener is far more important to successful flirting than being witty.
8. Use body language to hint at your romantic intentions. If things are going really well, you might want to try to break the touch barrier. Touch his arm briefly and gently as you talk. Or be more assertive and hold his hand when you cross the street, or if walking to a seat or a table, lead them by gently holding their arm. Touching in this manner helps break a "personal space" barrier.
Pay attention to red flags, because some people have "personal space" issues and you don't want to make them uncomfortable. In general, women can get away with touching much earlier in a conversation than men can. Many women feel a little threatened when a man they just met enters their personal space, while most men are more open to being touched. In any case, proceed with caution, and back off if you get negative or mixed signals from the person.
9. Close the deal. Most flirting is just harmless fun, and nothing will ever come of it. Every now and then, though, you'll meet someone who you'd like to see again and who you think would also like to see you again. Flirting is, after all, a type of courting ritual, a way to meet potential boyfriends maybe even your future spouse.
Don't worry about wedding plans just yet, though; start by getting the person's phone number. For most people, this is the hard part, because you have to actually make your intentions known, and in doing so you risk rejection. Be brave. Tell the person you'd like to see him or her again, and just ask for their phone number or, if it feels right, try to set up a date for some future time. If the person isn't interested, don't sweat it. There will always be another guy to flirt with.
Because of all of this,flirting is a very important skill, and it's one that makes a lot of people nervous. There is an art of flirting , though, and it's an art that can be learned. Here are some pointers for you.
Steps
1. Flirting is fun, but only if you don't take it too seriously. Most of the time, you'll just flirt with someone for a short time and then maybe never talk to them again. If you always go in to flirting expecting to date or even marry the person you're flirting with, you're going to be very disappointed--and you'll probably seem a little desperate. Remember, you're just flirting.
2. Look approachable. Relax and smile. Use your body language to give signals that you are the fun person that you are, and to show that you're comfortable and confident. There's nothing to be nervous about.
3. Read body language. Do they appear interested in you? From the moment you see someone with whom you might want to flirt, you should read his or her body language. Once you're actually flirting with the person, body language is often the only way to tell if the person is actually interested in you. We all have a natural ability to read body language, but it's easy to misread signals, so be careful and take it slow. If you see one signal that indicates the person is interested in you, watch for other signals that might confirm that.
4. Make eye contact, but not for more than a moment or two. Do not stare. Just shoot the person a quick gaze, smile with your eyes, and then slowly look away. If you look back and notice the person looking back to meet your eyes, they're likely interested in flirting a bit.
5. Initiate a conversation with the person you're interested in. If you don't already know them simply make small talk. Perhaps the best way to strike up a conversation is to start with a simple observation which ends with a question: "Nice day, isn't it?" or "This place sure is packed, eh?" are just a couple examples. What you say isn't important. You don't really need an answer to the question; you are simply inviting the person to talk with you. If the person responds pleasantly, continue the conversation.
If the person doesn't respond or seems preoccupied or disinterested, he probably isn't interested in flirting with you. At the beginning of the conversation, you don't want to talk about anything personal. Talk about the environment around you, the show you just saw, etc., but don't talk much about yourself and don't ask the other person personal questions.
6. Gradually share information about yourself in a reciprocal manner. If this small talk goes well, proceed to share a little information about yourself--just something small like what you do for a living or how you liked the show you just saw, for example. At some point, of course, you'll want to introduce yourself and, hopefully, get the other person's name. The key to sharing information is that you both gradually open up. Take turns talking, and each time the other person gives you some information about himself, give similar information about yourself, and maybe give slightly more personal information than the guy gave. You don't want to share too much about yourself too quickly, and you shouldn't try to get the other person to do so either.
7. Give the person your complete attention. Laugh at their jokes, listen to their stories, and don't get distracted by what's going on around you. It's more important to seem interested than to seem interesting, and you don't want to hog the conversation. Being a good listener is far more important to successful flirting than being witty.
8. Use body language to hint at your romantic intentions. If things are going really well, you might want to try to break the touch barrier. Touch his arm briefly and gently as you talk. Or be more assertive and hold his hand when you cross the street, or if walking to a seat or a table, lead them by gently holding their arm. Touching in this manner helps break a "personal space" barrier.
Pay attention to red flags, because some people have "personal space" issues and you don't want to make them uncomfortable. In general, women can get away with touching much earlier in a conversation than men can. Many women feel a little threatened when a man they just met enters their personal space, while most men are more open to being touched. In any case, proceed with caution, and back off if you get negative or mixed signals from the person.
9. Close the deal. Most flirting is just harmless fun, and nothing will ever come of it. Every now and then, though, you'll meet someone who you'd like to see again and who you think would also like to see you again. Flirting is, after all, a type of courting ritual, a way to meet potential boyfriends maybe even your future spouse.
Don't worry about wedding plans just yet, though; start by getting the person's phone number. For most people, this is the hard part, because you have to actually make your intentions known, and in doing so you risk rejection. Be brave. Tell the person you'd like to see him or her again, and just ask for their phone number or, if it feels right, try to set up a date for some future time. If the person isn't interested, don't sweat it. There will always be another guy to flirt with.
Friday, June 25, 2010
How to keep your man wanting more - stay one step behind him
Hey,
Do you ever feel like you are doing too much for the man you are seeing but he is doing absolutely nothing?
Do you feel like you don't even know how he feels about you? How much does he even like being around you?
You are the one calling and emailing, planning dates, trying to figure out how to make him feel better, giving him what he likes, making him feel like a VIP.
But yet, doesn't it seem like you are getting the short end of the stick where he is concerned? Like he doesn't really care either way?
You are the one thinking of him ALL the time but you don't get the impression that he is thinking of you at all.
I remember when I used to strategically plan my next move with guys. I kid you not. That used to really get me teed off.
What you really want is for the guy in your life to think about you and put in some effort, right?
You want him to think of you and wonder about what you are doing, when he'll hear from you again and how YOU feel about HIM.
When he starts thinking of you like this, he HAS to want more from you. He has no control over it anymore. That's what you really want right?
You want him to be like "oh wait, I haven't talked to her in a while", or "I haven't seen her in a while" but it might just have been a day or two. Then he picks up the phone to call you and he asks YOU what you are doing this weekend.
Why?
Because HE wants to see YOU. And the best part about it is, you didn't have to lift a finger. This is how you inspire him to want to be around you. You don't want to be the one wondering if or when you'll hear from him next or if he wants to see you or not.
You don't want to be wondering why he hasn't called you anymore. Those days are over! It's time for a change. You can only do that though when you make him a little bit uncomfortable.
The key is to stay one step behind him but two steps ahead at all times.
All you have to do to keep him wanting more of you is to never come on stronger than he does. So for example if he says "I think we should see each other more often", you say "well, hold on, we'll see how it goes. I don't know if I want to see you more often". Of course, you smile when you say this.
This will drive him crazy because he has no clue what you mean. But now, you have him exactly where you want him.
But again, you can only do this if your perspective has changed. It's not about acting, pretending or playing games. Remember that men and people in general I might add pick up on the VIBE you give off and that vibe, aura, energy, whatever you want to call it, is all that matters.
The reason you can stay one step behind him and not come on strong is because you understand that he is NOT the be all and end all of your life and he does not need to be treated as such.
After all, you are just dating him. Even if you are his girlfriend...
So then, you can fully enjoy your freedom, enjoy your time with him, time away from him and remain OPEN to the idea of going even further with him IF YOU think that you two vibe well together.
See what I'm saying? It's all about changing your perspective and that is what many of the posts on this blog are about.
Alyssa K
Do you ever feel like you are doing too much for the man you are seeing but he is doing absolutely nothing?
Do you feel like you don't even know how he feels about you? How much does he even like being around you?
You are the one calling and emailing, planning dates, trying to figure out how to make him feel better, giving him what he likes, making him feel like a VIP.
But yet, doesn't it seem like you are getting the short end of the stick where he is concerned? Like he doesn't really care either way?
You are the one thinking of him ALL the time but you don't get the impression that he is thinking of you at all.
I remember when I used to strategically plan my next move with guys. I kid you not. That used to really get me teed off.
What you really want is for the guy in your life to think about you and put in some effort, right?
You want him to think of you and wonder about what you are doing, when he'll hear from you again and how YOU feel about HIM.
When he starts thinking of you like this, he HAS to want more from you. He has no control over it anymore. That's what you really want right?
You want him to be like "oh wait, I haven't talked to her in a while", or "I haven't seen her in a while" but it might just have been a day or two. Then he picks up the phone to call you and he asks YOU what you are doing this weekend.
Why?
Because HE wants to see YOU. And the best part about it is, you didn't have to lift a finger. This is how you inspire him to want to be around you. You don't want to be the one wondering if or when you'll hear from him next or if he wants to see you or not.
You don't want to be wondering why he hasn't called you anymore. Those days are over! It's time for a change. You can only do that though when you make him a little bit uncomfortable.
The key is to stay one step behind him but two steps ahead at all times.
All you have to do to keep him wanting more of you is to never come on stronger than he does. So for example if he says "I think we should see each other more often", you say "well, hold on, we'll see how it goes. I don't know if I want to see you more often". Of course, you smile when you say this.
This will drive him crazy because he has no clue what you mean. But now, you have him exactly where you want him.
But again, you can only do this if your perspective has changed. It's not about acting, pretending or playing games. Remember that men and people in general I might add pick up on the VIBE you give off and that vibe, aura, energy, whatever you want to call it, is all that matters.
The reason you can stay one step behind him and not come on strong is because you understand that he is NOT the be all and end all of your life and he does not need to be treated as such.
After all, you are just dating him. Even if you are his girlfriend...
So then, you can fully enjoy your freedom, enjoy your time with him, time away from him and remain OPEN to the idea of going even further with him IF YOU think that you two vibe well together.
See what I'm saying? It's all about changing your perspective and that is what many of the posts on this blog are about.
Alyssa K
How to be irresistible to a man- 3 tips to drive him crazy for you
Hey,
How the challenge going? Here is some more reading material for you when you come home in the evenings from being all sexy, confident and fabulous !
**************************
How do you become irresistible to a man? How do you inspire him to want to be with you and only you? How do you make him have eyes only for you?
In a sense, this might seem like a very tall order especially if your track record with men has not been the best or if you think that you have made every single mistake in the book so far with the man in your life, but it is not.
I remember when my track record sucked but that was because my perspective sucked.
It is very doable once you have a few techniques to get you started. Whatever stage you are right now on the dating scene or with the man in your life, you can turn things around in your favour and have him eating out of the palm of your hand a lot faster than you thought possible.
Everything has to do with your attitude and the vibe that you are giving off to the men around you. The following are just a tip of the iceberg but they will take you closer to your objective of being irresistible.
1. Adopt the attitude that says "I like you and I like being around you but I don't really need to have you around". You don't need to speak these words. It's all in the attitude. You are sweet and charming to be around but you are confident and comfortable in your own skin. It is the confidence that will draw him in.
2. Never stop pursuing your own dreams or living your life because of any man in your life. Continue to enjoy your freedom and your own interests just as you did before he came on the scene.
Adopt the attitude that says "I was living my life just fine before I met you". At this point your passion and your zest for life is visible. That's what keeps you happy and when you are happy you are sexy.
3. Give him the space he needs to enjoy his freedom. Do not crowd him, do not smother him and make him think that you are his second mother. Do not try to tell him what to do or where to go or who to go out with. Leave him be. He is not a child, don't treat him like one. When you do not try to hang on to tightly, he'll want to stay around.
These are just a few tips to get you started on your quest to becoming irresistible to the men around you.
How many men or people in general have you smiled at this week 5, 6?
Keep it up ladies!
Alyssa K
How the challenge going? Here is some more reading material for you when you come home in the evenings from being all sexy, confident and fabulous !
**************************
How do you become irresistible to a man? How do you inspire him to want to be with you and only you? How do you make him have eyes only for you?
In a sense, this might seem like a very tall order especially if your track record with men has not been the best or if you think that you have made every single mistake in the book so far with the man in your life, but it is not.
I remember when my track record sucked but that was because my perspective sucked.
It is very doable once you have a few techniques to get you started. Whatever stage you are right now on the dating scene or with the man in your life, you can turn things around in your favour and have him eating out of the palm of your hand a lot faster than you thought possible.
Everything has to do with your attitude and the vibe that you are giving off to the men around you. The following are just a tip of the iceberg but they will take you closer to your objective of being irresistible.
1. Adopt the attitude that says "I like you and I like being around you but I don't really need to have you around". You don't need to speak these words. It's all in the attitude. You are sweet and charming to be around but you are confident and comfortable in your own skin. It is the confidence that will draw him in.
2. Never stop pursuing your own dreams or living your life because of any man in your life. Continue to enjoy your freedom and your own interests just as you did before he came on the scene.
Adopt the attitude that says "I was living my life just fine before I met you". At this point your passion and your zest for life is visible. That's what keeps you happy and when you are happy you are sexy.
3. Give him the space he needs to enjoy his freedom. Do not crowd him, do not smother him and make him think that you are his second mother. Do not try to tell him what to do or where to go or who to go out with. Leave him be. He is not a child, don't treat him like one. When you do not try to hang on to tightly, he'll want to stay around.
These are just a few tips to get you started on your quest to becoming irresistible to the men around you.
How many men or people in general have you smiled at this week 5, 6?
Keep it up ladies!
Alyssa K
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Why should I flirt?
Hey Ladies,
Okay,
So challenge is underway. I know all of you ladies, single or attached have something lined up practically every day this week.
I'm watching football this afternoon at a sports bar in case you all are wondering...
I have no problem setting the example...
Right, so why should I flirt?
When you flirt with a man, you stay in a that man's mind - sometimes for years!
Anyone can have a conversation - but flirting shows that you really care about him, not just as a person, but as a man!
The art of flirting can take you from nice to charming.
Flirting is not just for romance. A true flirt uses almost every encounter with a man to make him feel more like a man - making him feel charmed and wanted and special. Men love it when a woman cares enough to flirt with them.
Flirting sends a man the kind of message that is vital to his sense of masculinity and his self-esteem. There are so many men who are simply starved for this kind of attention.
Why not practice your flirting on the men you consider to be "safe"?
Why not flirt with men a little more today than you did yesterday?
Start with a warm smile for everyone. That's the first step in practicing flirting. And smiling is not against the law, the last time I checked!
But what if you don't habitually flash everyone a big smile as you go about your day?
In that case, don't make sudden radical changes in your behavior. That can cause your friends and co-workers to wonder what's up with you!
The best way to incorporate a new behavior in your life is in small doses. Otherwise, you may abandon a good effort before you've even begun. Whatever you do, keep flirting with men until it becomes as easy as saying hello.
Stay with it. Just flirt a LITTLE more today than you did yesterday. Start with smiling MORE. At everyone!
If you're married, small changes are a great way to start being more flirtatious with your husband. Start with a longer kiss hello or goodbye. Start showing more happiness with the world and with him.
Little changes go a long way when you increase the amount of flirting in your life.
Flirting says, "I find you attractive - I notice that you are a man - and I am a woman!"
It's a message that will never, ever go out of style.
Remember to keep your flirt on! Read more about how to flirt with men here.
More on flirting to come!
Ciao ladies
Alyssa K
Okay,
So challenge is underway. I know all of you ladies, single or attached have something lined up practically every day this week.
I'm watching football this afternoon at a sports bar in case you all are wondering...
I have no problem setting the example...
Right, so why should I flirt?
When you flirt with a man, you stay in a that man's mind - sometimes for years!
Anyone can have a conversation - but flirting shows that you really care about him, not just as a person, but as a man!
The art of flirting can take you from nice to charming.
Flirting is not just for romance. A true flirt uses almost every encounter with a man to make him feel more like a man - making him feel charmed and wanted and special. Men love it when a woman cares enough to flirt with them.
Flirting sends a man the kind of message that is vital to his sense of masculinity and his self-esteem. There are so many men who are simply starved for this kind of attention.
Why not practice your flirting on the men you consider to be "safe"?
Why not flirt with men a little more today than you did yesterday?
Start with a warm smile for everyone. That's the first step in practicing flirting. And smiling is not against the law, the last time I checked!
But what if you don't habitually flash everyone a big smile as you go about your day?
In that case, don't make sudden radical changes in your behavior. That can cause your friends and co-workers to wonder what's up with you!
The best way to incorporate a new behavior in your life is in small doses. Otherwise, you may abandon a good effort before you've even begun. Whatever you do, keep flirting with men until it becomes as easy as saying hello.
Stay with it. Just flirt a LITTLE more today than you did yesterday. Start with smiling MORE. At everyone!
If you're married, small changes are a great way to start being more flirtatious with your husband. Start with a longer kiss hello or goodbye. Start showing more happiness with the world and with him.
Little changes go a long way when you increase the amount of flirting in your life.
Flirting says, "I find you attractive - I notice that you are a man - and I am a woman!"
It's a message that will never, ever go out of style.
Remember to keep your flirt on! Read more about how to flirt with men here.
More on flirting to come!
Ciao ladies
Alyssa K
Monday, June 21, 2010
Easy "Dating" Challenge
Hey Ladies,
Remember yesterday I mentioned a challenge?
Well I was thinking about bringing together what I said in my last two posts.
Okay so I said that you can meet guys anywhere where they meet to watch World Cup football but ladies its even simpler than that…there are guys everywhere, the store, on the streets, coffee, shop, supermarket, mall, school…they are everywhere, all around us…okay that’s the first thing and
Secondly, it’s not that hard to meet them. All you have to do is smile and be friendly. Look approachable and they will approach…
Okay so the challenge is to “date” a guy a day lol
In other words for the next two weeks when you go out, this is the challenge:
1. Find a reason to go out even if you are on vacation for the next fourteen days. If you sit at home, you cannot be in the challenge lol
2. Look and feel your best when you step out of the house. You look good, you feel good. You know it.
3. At some point during the day, you must make it a point to smile at a guy whom you do not know well or know at all and if possible, strike up friendly conversation.
4.That is ALL you do.
5.It can be any guy anywhere, just one every day. Smile, be friendly, look approachable
N.B. That's 14 guys by the way...
The objective here is not to find or catch a man. If that happens, great!
The objective here is to get those of you who are fixated on that one guy who is not stepping up to the plate to realize that you are attractive and that there are many guys out there who would fall over themselves to go out on a date with YOU!
Therefore there is NO reason for you to bother about that one guy who let’s face it, is just not cutting it. There is no reason for you to pine after him.
Now watch what happens… to YOU!
Email me or post on the blog and let me know what happens!
Ciao ladies
Alyssa K
P.S. I'll be posting this week about flirting with men. That should come in handy for the challenge!
Remember yesterday I mentioned a challenge?
Well I was thinking about bringing together what I said in my last two posts.
Okay so I said that you can meet guys anywhere where they meet to watch World Cup football but ladies its even simpler than that…there are guys everywhere, the store, on the streets, coffee, shop, supermarket, mall, school…they are everywhere, all around us…okay that’s the first thing and
Secondly, it’s not that hard to meet them. All you have to do is smile and be friendly. Look approachable and they will approach…
Okay so the challenge is to “date” a guy a day lol
In other words for the next two weeks when you go out, this is the challenge:
1. Find a reason to go out even if you are on vacation for the next fourteen days. If you sit at home, you cannot be in the challenge lol
2. Look and feel your best when you step out of the house. You look good, you feel good. You know it.
3. At some point during the day, you must make it a point to smile at a guy whom you do not know well or know at all and if possible, strike up friendly conversation.
4.That is ALL you do.
5.It can be any guy anywhere, just one every day. Smile, be friendly, look approachable
N.B. That's 14 guys by the way...
The objective here is not to find or catch a man. If that happens, great!
The objective here is to get those of you who are fixated on that one guy who is not stepping up to the plate to realize that you are attractive and that there are many guys out there who would fall over themselves to go out on a date with YOU!
Therefore there is NO reason for you to bother about that one guy who let’s face it, is just not cutting it. There is no reason for you to pine after him.
Now watch what happens… to YOU!
Email me or post on the blog and let me know what happens!
Ciao ladies
Alyssa K
P.S. I'll be posting this week about flirting with men. That should come in handy for the challenge!
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Why isn't he calling me?
Hey Ladies,
How is it going today?
Remember I said that I wanted to talk about some things I noticed in the emails, just generally though, don’t worry…
I remember I used to do this as well. If I was dating a guy or seeing a guy seriously and things weren’t working out, I could not seem to stop focusing on the problem.
If you realize that the guy you are seeing or talking to is not stepping up to the plate or does not seem interested or seems to blow hot and cold…
He's not calling you, asking you out, not wanting to spend time with you, making everything else a priority...
Just let it go…
Here’s why…the more you push him by calling him, texting, hinting at going out or whatever, the more he will feel smothered.
It won't inspire him to want to be with you.
Even if you don’t do it regularly, it’s the vibe that you give off when you call him because you yourself are uncertain about where it’s going with the guy.
That is what will push him away or at least put him in a position where he is going to keep stalling and not moving the interaction or relationship with you forward.
When a guy starts to cool off or act uninterested or aloof, that’s fine leave him to himself, just let him be…
But that does not mean that YOU sit around waiting for him to come to his senses, oh no…
Then you fool yourself into thinking that HE is the only man in the world for you and that if he doesn’t want you, no one else will…
And that is NOT true.
Think in terms of abundance, NOT scarcity…
There are way too many quality, attractive men around for you to be sitting around waiting for one!
So you leave the one who’s acting uninterested and unsure to sort himself out and you go out, mingle, be friendly and meet other men!
Inside that is not what you want to do, believe me I know, I have been there but look at the other option…
Making yourself miserable wondering why he is acting the way he is acting.
That is not YOUR problem.
It’s better to go out, have fun, step up your game and try to forget all about him. I’m not saying it will be easy but it does make you feel a whole lot better!
And it's when YOU FEEL better, attractive and confident BECAUSE you are going out and having the time of your life, watch what happens...
Are you ladies up for a challenge? I'll sort you out...
Ciao
Alyssa K
How is it going today?
Remember I said that I wanted to talk about some things I noticed in the emails, just generally though, don’t worry…
I remember I used to do this as well. If I was dating a guy or seeing a guy seriously and things weren’t working out, I could not seem to stop focusing on the problem.
If you realize that the guy you are seeing or talking to is not stepping up to the plate or does not seem interested or seems to blow hot and cold…
He's not calling you, asking you out, not wanting to spend time with you, making everything else a priority...
Just let it go…
Here’s why…the more you push him by calling him, texting, hinting at going out or whatever, the more he will feel smothered.
It won't inspire him to want to be with you.
Even if you don’t do it regularly, it’s the vibe that you give off when you call him because you yourself are uncertain about where it’s going with the guy.
That is what will push him away or at least put him in a position where he is going to keep stalling and not moving the interaction or relationship with you forward.
When a guy starts to cool off or act uninterested or aloof, that’s fine leave him to himself, just let him be…
But that does not mean that YOU sit around waiting for him to come to his senses, oh no…
Then you fool yourself into thinking that HE is the only man in the world for you and that if he doesn’t want you, no one else will…
And that is NOT true.
Think in terms of abundance, NOT scarcity…
There are way too many quality, attractive men around for you to be sitting around waiting for one!
So you leave the one who’s acting uninterested and unsure to sort himself out and you go out, mingle, be friendly and meet other men!
Inside that is not what you want to do, believe me I know, I have been there but look at the other option…
Making yourself miserable wondering why he is acting the way he is acting.
That is not YOUR problem.
It’s better to go out, have fun, step up your game and try to forget all about him. I’m not saying it will be easy but it does make you feel a whole lot better!
And it's when YOU FEEL better, attractive and confident BECAUSE you are going out and having the time of your life, watch what happens...
Are you ladies up for a challenge? I'll sort you out...
Ciao
Alyssa K
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Where can I go to meet guys?
Hey ladies,
Well summer is shaping up well. I have a few things I would like to say based on the emails I have been getting but one thing at a time...lol
A few ladies want to know where they can go to meet guys.
For right now let’s keep it simple. No reason to complicate life.
All I have to say is FIFA World Cup 2010!
For the next few weeks, go to a few Sports Bars, pubs, etc. and take in some of the games! You can go alone or you can go with a few friends.
Where ever there is a screen, beer and football, rest assured, there will be a large number of guys.
It’s a bit like landing a job. The higher the number of interviews you have, the more of a chance you have to land the job you really want.
Likewise, the higher the number of guys, the more of a chance you have to meet a cool guy.
Then when you are in the area, you get to scope out the prospects, smile, make eye contact, flirt but most importantly you are out there meeting people, (men and women, let’s face it) and the more people you meet the more of a chance you have to meet Mr. Right!
Yes, you can watch football at home but in order to meet people you have to get out!
In order to "catch a fish" (excuse the terminology but it's just an analogy), you have to cast your line or net where there are large quantities of fish. Okay analogy over...lol
The world is your oyster!
Get to it ladies! Summer 2010, time to shift perspective.
Ciao
Alyssa K
Well summer is shaping up well. I have a few things I would like to say based on the emails I have been getting but one thing at a time...lol
A few ladies want to know where they can go to meet guys.
For right now let’s keep it simple. No reason to complicate life.
All I have to say is FIFA World Cup 2010!
For the next few weeks, go to a few Sports Bars, pubs, etc. and take in some of the games! You can go alone or you can go with a few friends.
Where ever there is a screen, beer and football, rest assured, there will be a large number of guys.
It’s a bit like landing a job. The higher the number of interviews you have, the more of a chance you have to land the job you really want.
Likewise, the higher the number of guys, the more of a chance you have to meet a cool guy.
Then when you are in the area, you get to scope out the prospects, smile, make eye contact, flirt but most importantly you are out there meeting people, (men and women, let’s face it) and the more people you meet the more of a chance you have to meet Mr. Right!
Yes, you can watch football at home but in order to meet people you have to get out!
In order to "catch a fish" (excuse the terminology but it's just an analogy), you have to cast your line or net where there are large quantities of fish. Okay analogy over...lol
The world is your oyster!
Get to it ladies! Summer 2010, time to shift perspective.
Ciao
Alyssa K
Friday, June 18, 2010
How to keep your man wanting more - Intellectual attraction anyone?
Hey Ladies,
I like this topic of how to keep your man wanting more. There are so many ways to keep yourself intriguing, alluring and mysterious to the man in your life.
That way you keep him wanting more and hungry for your attention and your interest and you have lots of fun in the process!
It's not enough to be physically attractive. We know that already!
There are plenty of gorgeous women but you will have realized that these women are not necessarily the women who are able to keep their guys interested and fired up all the time.
The problem these women have is that they are unable to able to create the kind of attraction in a man that makes him crave their attention and crave their company.
So how do you do that?
To keep your man wanting more of you, you have to become more interesting to put it simply. You have to be much more interesting to be around.
You have to become the woman who would stimulate your man's mind in a way that it has never been stimulated before.
To do this you have to find a topic (or a few topics) that is interesting to both of you - something that would allow you both to connect on a deeper level.
When he thinks of you, he must think "hmmm, I wonder what she would think about xyz"; " I want to know more about her" or "I wonder what her take on this would be."
Just think about the following to help you through this:
• What are you most passionate about?
• What are his interests? What is he passionate about?
• What can connect you two at a deeper level?
• What do you two talk about when you are together?
• Can you talk and laugh for hours about subjects that you are both passionate about?
Start with these questions to get your mind going and see what you come up with.
When you can stimulate your man's mind and stir up feelings deep within him that he did not even know he had is when you will have no problems keeping him inspired to be with you and only you!
And then, voila...
You are suddenly a whole lot closer to becoming the woman he just has to be around and talk to...
Then you have him right where YOU want him...
I like this topic of how to keep your man wanting more. There are so many ways to keep yourself intriguing, alluring and mysterious to the man in your life.
That way you keep him wanting more and hungry for your attention and your interest and you have lots of fun in the process!
It's not enough to be physically attractive. We know that already!
There are plenty of gorgeous women but you will have realized that these women are not necessarily the women who are able to keep their guys interested and fired up all the time.
The problem these women have is that they are unable to able to create the kind of attraction in a man that makes him crave their attention and crave their company.
So how do you do that?
To keep your man wanting more of you, you have to become more interesting to put it simply. You have to be much more interesting to be around.
You have to become the woman who would stimulate your man's mind in a way that it has never been stimulated before.
To do this you have to find a topic (or a few topics) that is interesting to both of you - something that would allow you both to connect on a deeper level.
When he thinks of you, he must think "hmmm, I wonder what she would think about xyz"; " I want to know more about her" or "I wonder what her take on this would be."
Just think about the following to help you through this:
• What are you most passionate about?
• What are his interests? What is he passionate about?
• What can connect you two at a deeper level?
• What do you two talk about when you are together?
• Can you talk and laugh for hours about subjects that you are both passionate about?
Start with these questions to get your mind going and see what you come up with.
When you can stimulate your man's mind and stir up feelings deep within him that he did not even know he had is when you will have no problems keeping him inspired to be with you and only you!
And then, voila...
You are suddenly a whole lot closer to becoming the woman he just has to be around and talk to...
Then you have him right where YOU want him...
Friday, June 11, 2010
What should you do when a guy does not call?
Hello ladies,
What should you do if a guy does not call? This is a question I have got quite a few times.
We all have had the experience at one time or another when a man did not call when he said he would, or did not call after the first date or just stopped calling after a couple of months and then backed away until he disappeared altogether.
While sometimes it is true that he could have been in a terrible accident and in hospital, 99.99% of the time that is not the reason for a man not calling.
There is usually nothing else going on other than that he lost interest in you and does not know how to tell you or that he was never that interested in the first place.
When a guy you are really into does not call or stops calling, what you do NOT want to do is call him three times a day or worse yet, leave voice messages in which you ask him if he is okay and to please call you back. No...
So what should you do when a man does not call? What should you do when it appears as though a man has lost interest in you?
The answer is...absolutely nothing. That's exactly right. You make yourself just as scarce as he is.
Any calling, texting or emailing from your end to find out what is wrong and trying to convince him to call you back and to like you again will only result in him completely ignoring or being nasty to you beyond words.
You can NEVER convince a man to be interested in you again.
You just have to let it go; drop the ball. If he picks it up again, great!
If not, no love lost. Move on because he was obviously not that interested in you in the first place.
But maybe you want to understand reasons why a guy will not call a woman even if he likes her and how YOU can INSPIRE him to call you, then click here ! Now this is knowledge and insight that you can use to your advantage to get any man to WANT to call you!
As always, any crises or if you have any questions, feel free to email me at askalyssak@gmail.com !
Ciao
Alyssa K
What should you do if a guy does not call? This is a question I have got quite a few times.
We all have had the experience at one time or another when a man did not call when he said he would, or did not call after the first date or just stopped calling after a couple of months and then backed away until he disappeared altogether.
While sometimes it is true that he could have been in a terrible accident and in hospital, 99.99% of the time that is not the reason for a man not calling.
There is usually nothing else going on other than that he lost interest in you and does not know how to tell you or that he was never that interested in the first place.
When a guy you are really into does not call or stops calling, what you do NOT want to do is call him three times a day or worse yet, leave voice messages in which you ask him if he is okay and to please call you back. No...
So what should you do when a man does not call? What should you do when it appears as though a man has lost interest in you?
The answer is...absolutely nothing. That's exactly right. You make yourself just as scarce as he is.
Any calling, texting or emailing from your end to find out what is wrong and trying to convince him to call you back and to like you again will only result in him completely ignoring or being nasty to you beyond words.
You can NEVER convince a man to be interested in you again.
You just have to let it go; drop the ball. If he picks it up again, great!
If not, no love lost. Move on because he was obviously not that interested in you in the first place.
But maybe you want to understand reasons why a guy will not call a woman even if he likes her and how YOU can INSPIRE him to call you, then click here ! Now this is knowledge and insight that you can use to your advantage to get any man to WANT to call you!
As always, any crises or if you have any questions, feel free to email me at askalyssak@gmail.com !
Ciao
Alyssa K
When a guy says that he is busy what does it really mean?
Have you ever had this happen to you? You have been going out this guy for a while and all of a sudden he says he is busy as in too busy to talk to you or to spend time with you. What does he really mean when he says this?
Let's give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he really is busy. Even so, if a guy is really interested in pursuing you, even if he is working 18 hours a day, 7 days a week, if he wants to see you and spend time with you, he will find a way to do so. Remember that men go after what they want and the women they want.
Any time a guy says this to you and does not make an effort to spend time with you, he is just not interested in you or attracted to you. It is his way of trying to avoid you and to keep you at a distance.
So, now that you know exactly what is going on, what do you do?
I'll tell you what you do NOT do. You do NOT call him; you do not text him and you do not bother him.
You do not try to elbow your way into his busy schedule.
You let him be. If he is that busy, give him all the time and space that he needs to focus on his busy schedule.
When you do this it allows him to see that you have no interest in trying to control him or his time. Remember that men appear to value their freedom above all else so let him have his freedom.
More than that, it allows you the time to see if this is the sort of man YOU want in your life. Remember that it is all about YOU. As long as you keep YOU as your focus it becomes easier.
He is clearly too busy for you so should you really be pining after him? We already know that if a man wants to be with you, he will move mountains to do so.
Why not start to enjoy YOUR freedom?
Why don't you get busy becoming more fabulous?
What if you were to get busy on that project you wanted to start?
What if you started on that project and it turned into a business?
What if that business started to do really well?
What if you gained financial freedom because of it?
What if you started to go out more with your friends?
What if you could now use this time to take weekend getaways?
You see where I am going with this? It really doesn't matter if he is too busy to see you!
You got things to do, people to see, places to go!
That's just yet another way you become THAT woman !
Ciao
Alyssa K
Let's give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he really is busy. Even so, if a guy is really interested in pursuing you, even if he is working 18 hours a day, 7 days a week, if he wants to see you and spend time with you, he will find a way to do so. Remember that men go after what they want and the women they want.
Any time a guy says this to you and does not make an effort to spend time with you, he is just not interested in you or attracted to you. It is his way of trying to avoid you and to keep you at a distance.
So, now that you know exactly what is going on, what do you do?
I'll tell you what you do NOT do. You do NOT call him; you do not text him and you do not bother him.
You do not try to elbow your way into his busy schedule.
You let him be. If he is that busy, give him all the time and space that he needs to focus on his busy schedule.
When you do this it allows him to see that you have no interest in trying to control him or his time. Remember that men appear to value their freedom above all else so let him have his freedom.
More than that, it allows you the time to see if this is the sort of man YOU want in your life. Remember that it is all about YOU. As long as you keep YOU as your focus it becomes easier.
He is clearly too busy for you so should you really be pining after him? We already know that if a man wants to be with you, he will move mountains to do so.
Why not start to enjoy YOUR freedom?
Why don't you get busy becoming more fabulous?
What if you were to get busy on that project you wanted to start?
What if you started on that project and it turned into a business?
What if that business started to do really well?
What if you gained financial freedom because of it?
What if you started to go out more with your friends?
What if you could now use this time to take weekend getaways?
You see where I am going with this? It really doesn't matter if he is too busy to see you!
You got things to do, people to see, places to go!
That's just yet another way you become THAT woman !
Ciao
Alyssa K
How to keep your man wanting more - Building emotional attraction
Hey,
So we talked about building emotional attraction a few days ago.
But well you need some practical tips so here are a few. The reason that I like these and think that they work so well is that
1.They keep YOU in that positive, feel good, happy place because you worry a lot less about the outcome since you are so busy having fun
2.They give both you and the man in your life what you both want
3.You can enjoy an in the moment connection which does work out much better in the long run.
Again, the whole thing is fascinating but watching it at work in your life and in your interaction with the men in your life is even better. So here goes!
1. Play with him and have FUN. Make sure that you have lots of fun together. Always keep yourself and him smiling.
When YOU are smiling, he is smiling, everything is good and "la vie est belle" as they say. This tip may sound incredibly simplistic but it is really very powerful.
2. Give him as much space as you can. Enjoy the time you have when you are together. Have fun and live in the moment but do NOT crowd him.
Use this time away from him to replenish YOUR positive energy, come back refreshed and with a brand new aura that draws him in.
Pull back sometimes and allow him to miss you, to wonder about you and to come looking for you. Let him have fun with that sometimes. Enjoy the magic when he finds you.
3. Be interesting and unpredictable. Be provocative sometimes with what you say and do so that he never quite knows what you will say or do next.
That way he cannot help but think about you because you keep him guessing. You feel more confident, more daring like YOU are "the one". Like Neo...
4. Take things slowly to the point where he is not sure how into him you are. It does not matter how much fun you are having with him, do not try to rush ahead by forcing your feelings on him.
The key here is staying one step behind him and two steps ahead so that he is not quite sure what you want from him. This is how you keep him on his toes lol
Do you see how much fun you can have with this?
Building emotional attraction is as much fun for you as it is for him and in the end you both get what you want!
For more insight into this, you can download Man Mistake Eraser using this special link to get your bonus! Click on the link near the top of the page!
Ciao
Alyssa K
So we talked about building emotional attraction a few days ago.
But well you need some practical tips so here are a few. The reason that I like these and think that they work so well is that
1.They keep YOU in that positive, feel good, happy place because you worry a lot less about the outcome since you are so busy having fun
2.They give both you and the man in your life what you both want
3.You can enjoy an in the moment connection which does work out much better in the long run.
Again, the whole thing is fascinating but watching it at work in your life and in your interaction with the men in your life is even better. So here goes!
1. Play with him and have FUN. Make sure that you have lots of fun together. Always keep yourself and him smiling.
When YOU are smiling, he is smiling, everything is good and "la vie est belle" as they say. This tip may sound incredibly simplistic but it is really very powerful.
2. Give him as much space as you can. Enjoy the time you have when you are together. Have fun and live in the moment but do NOT crowd him.
Use this time away from him to replenish YOUR positive energy, come back refreshed and with a brand new aura that draws him in.
Pull back sometimes and allow him to miss you, to wonder about you and to come looking for you. Let him have fun with that sometimes. Enjoy the magic when he finds you.
3. Be interesting and unpredictable. Be provocative sometimes with what you say and do so that he never quite knows what you will say or do next.
That way he cannot help but think about you because you keep him guessing. You feel more confident, more daring like YOU are "the one". Like Neo...
4. Take things slowly to the point where he is not sure how into him you are. It does not matter how much fun you are having with him, do not try to rush ahead by forcing your feelings on him.
The key here is staying one step behind him and two steps ahead so that he is not quite sure what you want from him. This is how you keep him on his toes lol
Do you see how much fun you can have with this?
Building emotional attraction is as much fun for you as it is for him and in the end you both get what you want!
For more insight into this, you can download Man Mistake Eraser using this special link to get your bonus! Click on the link near the top of the page!
Ciao
Alyssa K
How to inspire a man to want to be around you
Hey Ladies,
How’s it going?
So I gave you ample time to reflect on the questions.
I’ll share my experience. I don’t know if you can relate but here is what I realized. It may be overly simplistic but…
When I used to feel uptight or uneasy about my interaction with my significant other in any way, things never seemed to go smoothly at all.
By uptight or uneasy I mean, thinking too much about what he said or did and what that would mean down the line.
And the thing is a whole range of negative thoughts would build one upon the other until I had worked myself up in a right tizzy for NO reason whatsoever.
All the while significant other is steadily shutting down because he can sense that something he does not want is going to happen, lol i.e me wanting to “talk”.
That "talk" I wanted to have was coming from that place of fear and things are not going well so that's what came out.
In my experience, the more you fixate on what you do not want to happen or on whatever your fears for your relationship or your interaction with men are, the more you will see exactly what you do NOT want play out just like a movie.
Except that this movie will play itself out a few days, weeks or months down the line like a self fulfilling prophecy.
That was then…
Now, I find that I do not think past any given moment. Granted this is not something that just happened overnight.
When you live in the moment and enjoy what is whilst remaining completely detached from any outcome whatsoever, your only objective being to enjoy the moment for what is, here’s what happens to YOU:
-You feel lighter, not weighed down by "what ifs" because frankly it doesn’t matter one way or the other
-You have positive energy flowing through you because you are happy in the moment
-You transmit that energy to all around you including the man in your life
-You inspire him to want to be around you more because you make him feel good when he’s around you
Then it becomes very easy to connect to him because he WANTS to connect to you and thus you have created emotional attraction.
Put that together with some sexy flirting tips and you are on your way to making him yours!
Ciao
Alyssa K
How’s it going?
So I gave you ample time to reflect on the questions.
I’ll share my experience. I don’t know if you can relate but here is what I realized. It may be overly simplistic but…
When I used to feel uptight or uneasy about my interaction with my significant other in any way, things never seemed to go smoothly at all.
By uptight or uneasy I mean, thinking too much about what he said or did and what that would mean down the line.
And the thing is a whole range of negative thoughts would build one upon the other until I had worked myself up in a right tizzy for NO reason whatsoever.
All the while significant other is steadily shutting down because he can sense that something he does not want is going to happen, lol i.e me wanting to “talk”.
That "talk" I wanted to have was coming from that place of fear and things are not going well so that's what came out.
In my experience, the more you fixate on what you do not want to happen or on whatever your fears for your relationship or your interaction with men are, the more you will see exactly what you do NOT want play out just like a movie.
Except that this movie will play itself out a few days, weeks or months down the line like a self fulfilling prophecy.
That was then…
Now, I find that I do not think past any given moment. Granted this is not something that just happened overnight.
When you live in the moment and enjoy what is whilst remaining completely detached from any outcome whatsoever, your only objective being to enjoy the moment for what is, here’s what happens to YOU:
-You feel lighter, not weighed down by "what ifs" because frankly it doesn’t matter one way or the other
-You have positive energy flowing through you because you are happy in the moment
-You transmit that energy to all around you including the man in your life
-You inspire him to want to be around you more because you make him feel good when he’s around you
Then it becomes very easy to connect to him because he WANTS to connect to you and thus you have created emotional attraction.
Put that together with some sexy flirting tips and you are on your way to making him yours!
Ciao
Alyssa K
Monday, May 31, 2010
On dates and in relationships: how do you feel?
Hey,
How’s it is going?
I was thinking about my past relationships and interaction with guys I wanted to ask you ladies a few questions just to see if you could relate:
For the single ladies:
-Do you ever feel as though there are no normal, single, quality available men left?
-Do you feel as though you meet men who are either married, have a girlfriend or otherwise not relationship material?
-Do you feel as though you always meet men who are afraid of commitment or settling down?
-When you go out with guys and you are having a good time, do you start thinking “hmmm, I wonder if he is the one” or “I think this is it”.
For ladies in (long term) relationships:
-Do you find that you are anxious all the time, like you have fun with your guy but you really are not that relaxed around him?
-Do you wonder if he is happy with you?
-Do you find yourself wondering if your boyfriend really wants to be with you long term or marry you?
-Do you find yourself bringing up the topic of commitment or thinking about marriage all the time?
-Do you find yourself always thinking of what the future could be like with him – where you will live or how many children you have?
-Do you call your boyfriend all the time to check up on him?
-Do you want him to spend all his time with you?
- Do you and your guy end up bickering over frivolous things?
Just mull over these questions and see what answers you come up with…
I’ll be back with my own experiences.
I’d be really interested in hearing your answers to these questions too if any of you want to share because the answers will determine how you feel about YOU.
How you feel about YOU determines how your boyfriend or any potential guy in your life feels about YOU and how HOOKED on you he becomes.
It is also directly related to how much emotional attraction you can build with the guy in your life.
It’s an interesting phenomenon!
That’s your assignment for the next few days!
Ciao ladies
Alyssa K
How’s it is going?
I was thinking about my past relationships and interaction with guys I wanted to ask you ladies a few questions just to see if you could relate:
For the single ladies:
-Do you ever feel as though there are no normal, single, quality available men left?
-Do you feel as though you meet men who are either married, have a girlfriend or otherwise not relationship material?
-Do you feel as though you always meet men who are afraid of commitment or settling down?
-When you go out with guys and you are having a good time, do you start thinking “hmmm, I wonder if he is the one” or “I think this is it”.
For ladies in (long term) relationships:
-Do you find that you are anxious all the time, like you have fun with your guy but you really are not that relaxed around him?
-Do you wonder if he is happy with you?
-Do you find yourself wondering if your boyfriend really wants to be with you long term or marry you?
-Do you find yourself bringing up the topic of commitment or thinking about marriage all the time?
-Do you find yourself always thinking of what the future could be like with him – where you will live or how many children you have?
-Do you call your boyfriend all the time to check up on him?
-Do you want him to spend all his time with you?
- Do you and your guy end up bickering over frivolous things?
Just mull over these questions and see what answers you come up with…
I’ll be back with my own experiences.
I’d be really interested in hearing your answers to these questions too if any of you want to share because the answers will determine how you feel about YOU.
How you feel about YOU determines how your boyfriend or any potential guy in your life feels about YOU and how HOOKED on you he becomes.
It is also directly related to how much emotional attraction you can build with the guy in your life.
It’s an interesting phenomenon!
That’s your assignment for the next few days!
Ciao ladies
Alyssa K
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
How to keep your man wanting more- Build emotional attraction!
Hey Ladies,
Just a short word today about building emotional attraction!
Do NOT underestimate the power of emotional attraction! lol
When you meet a man and you two start to develop an interest in one another, it is because you are attracted to one another.
Attraction is what makes the whole thing work. Without attraction, there can be nothing.
How attracted a man is to you is what will make him stay around for the long haul and make him want to commit to you.
But what type of attraction are we really talking about here?
Of course there is physical attraction but physical attraction can only get you so far.
That is why we often hear stories from some of our friends who are really attractive but can never seem to be able to inspire a man to want to be around them for a long time.
They go out with a guy for a very short while before the chaos starts and the man then runs away for dear life.
So obviously then, inspiring a guy to want to be around you has absolutely nothing to do with mere physical attraction.
At the beginning it does help since men are visual creatures but to keep a man around you have to do a whole lot more than just look good.
The kind of attraction you need to build with your man is emotional attraction:
the type of attraction which is the beginning of true affection and which allows you to connect to a man in ways you never thought possible.
This attraction gives you a key to his heart.
This is the attraction that is the result of you making him feel very wanted and admired.
The kind of attraction that simply makes him feel good when talking to you, about you or being in your presence.
When he thinks about you his heart warms. When he sees you he is just blown away.
He longs to hear your voice again because you make him feel good each and every single time you talk to him.
When you are not with him, he wants to hear from you.
He thinks of you and a smile comes to his lips. You send him a text, he sees it’s from you and he smiles and opens it immediately.
This is the sort of attraction that will cause the man in your life to want to move mountains for you and want to be with you all the time.
Bear this in mind as your are flirting up a storm on your next date!
Ciao ladies
Alyssa K
Just a short word today about building emotional attraction!
Do NOT underestimate the power of emotional attraction! lol
When you meet a man and you two start to develop an interest in one another, it is because you are attracted to one another.
Attraction is what makes the whole thing work. Without attraction, there can be nothing.
How attracted a man is to you is what will make him stay around for the long haul and make him want to commit to you.
But what type of attraction are we really talking about here?
Of course there is physical attraction but physical attraction can only get you so far.
That is why we often hear stories from some of our friends who are really attractive but can never seem to be able to inspire a man to want to be around them for a long time.
They go out with a guy for a very short while before the chaos starts and the man then runs away for dear life.
So obviously then, inspiring a guy to want to be around you has absolutely nothing to do with mere physical attraction.
At the beginning it does help since men are visual creatures but to keep a man around you have to do a whole lot more than just look good.
The kind of attraction you need to build with your man is emotional attraction:
the type of attraction which is the beginning of true affection and which allows you to connect to a man in ways you never thought possible.
This attraction gives you a key to his heart.
This is the attraction that is the result of you making him feel very wanted and admired.
The kind of attraction that simply makes him feel good when talking to you, about you or being in your presence.
When he thinks about you his heart warms. When he sees you he is just blown away.
He longs to hear your voice again because you make him feel good each and every single time you talk to him.
When you are not with him, he wants to hear from you.
He thinks of you and a smile comes to his lips. You send him a text, he sees it’s from you and he smiles and opens it immediately.
This is the sort of attraction that will cause the man in your life to want to move mountains for you and want to be with you all the time.
Bear this in mind as your are flirting up a storm on your next date!
Ciao ladies
Alyssa K
How to get a guy hooked on you - Focus on YOU!
Hey ladies,
Hope your relationships are shaping up like you are wanting them to.
If that is happening then it means that a shift is happening within YOU.
YOU changed something and so the dynamic of the relationship started to change.
I was thinking of something recently that I wanted to share which I think is important.
Here on the blog and in other places on the internet no doubt, the advice you will get is pretty clear.
It might appear as though there is a certain set of rules to follow when dealing with guys.
So there is specific advice on:
-becoming a "bitch"
-calling men
-asking guys out on dates
-how to get a guy's attention
-correcting mistakes you made so far
What I wanted to point out here though is that the above advice is just the start.
You have to start somewhere.
You see when you put any the advice into practice and you get your hands on any of the resources, that is the first step.
The resources give you the first insight into the mistakes you have been making and how to correct them and give you the first real feeling of control over your life and your love life.
From there you need to internalize the advice in a way that allows your own personality and femininity to shine through and so become the unique woman that wins his heart.
Even though you have been seeing results with the techniques you have read about here on the blog, started using the advice,
to get the “it” factor, you have to take that advice and work it into your life and allow it to mesh with who you are at the core.
Don’t forget that these resources are just there to help you and guide you to becoming the lady who inspires a man to want to be with her and only her.
Here’s what else I want you to do though.
Think about
-how would you describe yourself?
-What are you passionate about?
-Is there anything that makes your eyes light up when you do it or think about it?
-What is it about you that people really like?
-Can you honestly say that you are happy where you are right now in life?
-If not, is it because you see happiness as a destination?
-Are you comfortable with yourself?
-Are you at peace with yourself?
I’ll tell you why all this is important.
If you only focus on applying the techniques which will work no doubt,
you still have not dealt with the underlying issues that have a negative impact on your level of confidence when dealing with yourself and with others.
Remember that when you know who YOU are at the core, this is when the real magic starts!
When you are at peace and happy with YOURSELF, those are the vibes that you will automatically transmit to the guy in your life (and to other people around you by the way).
If a guy likes being in your presence BECAUSE he feels at peace and happy with you, what do you think is going to happen when you mix that with the advice and the tips you have been learning?
Ciao ladies
Alyssa K
Hope your relationships are shaping up like you are wanting them to.
If that is happening then it means that a shift is happening within YOU.
YOU changed something and so the dynamic of the relationship started to change.
I was thinking of something recently that I wanted to share which I think is important.
Here on the blog and in other places on the internet no doubt, the advice you will get is pretty clear.
It might appear as though there is a certain set of rules to follow when dealing with guys.
So there is specific advice on:
-becoming a "bitch"
-calling men
-asking guys out on dates
-how to get a guy's attention
-correcting mistakes you made so far
What I wanted to point out here though is that the above advice is just the start.
You have to start somewhere.
You see when you put any the advice into practice and you get your hands on any of the resources, that is the first step.
The resources give you the first insight into the mistakes you have been making and how to correct them and give you the first real feeling of control over your life and your love life.
From there you need to internalize the advice in a way that allows your own personality and femininity to shine through and so become the unique woman that wins his heart.
Even though you have been seeing results with the techniques you have read about here on the blog, started using the advice,
to get the “it” factor, you have to take that advice and work it into your life and allow it to mesh with who you are at the core.
Don’t forget that these resources are just there to help you and guide you to becoming the lady who inspires a man to want to be with her and only her.
Here’s what else I want you to do though.
Think about
-how would you describe yourself?
-What are you passionate about?
-Is there anything that makes your eyes light up when you do it or think about it?
-What is it about you that people really like?
-Can you honestly say that you are happy where you are right now in life?
-If not, is it because you see happiness as a destination?
-Are you comfortable with yourself?
-Are you at peace with yourself?
I’ll tell you why all this is important.
If you only focus on applying the techniques which will work no doubt,
you still have not dealt with the underlying issues that have a negative impact on your level of confidence when dealing with yourself and with others.
Remember that when you know who YOU are at the core, this is when the real magic starts!
When you are at peace and happy with YOURSELF, those are the vibes that you will automatically transmit to the guy in your life (and to other people around you by the way).
If a guy likes being in your presence BECAUSE he feels at peace and happy with you, what do you think is going to happen when you mix that with the advice and the tips you have been learning?
Ciao ladies
Alyssa K
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