Friday, June 25, 2010

How to keep your man wanting more - stay one step behind him

Hey,

Do you ever feel like you are doing too much for the man you are seeing but he is doing absolutely nothing?

Do you feel like you don't even know how he feels about you? How much does he even like being around you?

You are the one calling and emailing, planning dates, trying to figure out how to make him feel better, giving him what he likes, making him feel like a VIP.

But yet, doesn't it seem like you are getting the short end of the stick where he is concerned? Like he doesn't really care either way?

You are the one thinking of him ALL the time but you don't get the impression that he is thinking of you at all.

I remember when I used to strategically plan my next move with guys. I kid you not. That used to really get me teed off.

What you really want is for the guy in your life to think about you and put in some effort, right?

You want him to think of you and wonder about what you are doing, when he'll hear from you again and how YOU feel about HIM.

When he starts thinking of you like this, he HAS to want more from you. He has no control over it anymore. That's what you really want right?

You want him to be like "oh wait, I haven't talked to her in a while", or "I haven't seen her in a while" but it might just have been a day or two. Then he picks up the phone to call you and he asks YOU what you are doing this weekend.

Why?

Because HE wants to see YOU. And the best part about it is, you didn't have to lift a finger. This is how you inspire him to want to be around you. You don't want to be the one wondering if or when you'll hear from him next or if he wants to see you or not.

You don't want to be wondering why he hasn't called you anymore. Those days are over! It's time for a change. You can only do that though when you make him a little bit uncomfortable.

The key is to stay one step behind him but two steps ahead at all times.

All you have to do to keep him wanting more of you is to never come on stronger than he does. So for example if he says "I think we should see each other more often", you say "well, hold on, we'll see how it goes. I don't know if I want to see you more often". Of course, you smile when you say this.

This will drive him crazy because he has no clue what you mean. But now, you have him exactly where you want him.

But again, you can only do this if your perspective has changed. It's not about acting, pretending or playing games. Remember that men and people in general I might add pick up on the VIBE you give off and that vibe, aura, energy, whatever you want to call it, is all that matters.

The reason you can stay one step behind him and not come on strong is because you understand that he is NOT the be all and end all of your life and he does not need to be treated as such.

After all, you are just dating him. Even if you are his girlfriend...

So then, you can fully enjoy your freedom, enjoy your time with him, time away from him and remain OPEN to the idea of going even further with him IF YOU think that you two vibe well together.

See what I'm saying? It's all about changing your perspective and that is what many of the posts on this blog are about.

Alyssa K

How to be irresistible to a man- 3 tips to drive him crazy for you

Hey,

How the challenge going? Here is some more reading material for you when you come home in the evenings from being all sexy, confident and fabulous !

**************************

How do you become irresistible to a man? How do you inspire him to want to be with you and only you? How do you make him have eyes only for you?

In a sense, this might seem like a very tall order especially if your track record with men has not been the best or if you think that you have made every single mistake in the book so far with the man in your life, but it is not.

I remember when my track record sucked but that was because my perspective sucked.

It is very doable once you have a few techniques to get you started. Whatever stage you are right now on the dating scene or with the man in your life, you can turn things around in your favour and have him eating out of the palm of your hand a lot faster than you thought possible.

Everything has to do with your attitude and the vibe that you are giving off to the men around you. The following are just a tip of the iceberg but they will take you closer to your objective of being irresistible.

1. Adopt the attitude that says "I like you and I like being around you but I don't really need to have you around". You don't need to speak these words. It's all in the attitude. You are sweet and charming to be around but you are confident and comfortable in your own skin. It is the confidence that will draw him in.

2. Never stop pursuing your own dreams or living your life because of any man in your life. Continue to enjoy your freedom and your own interests just as you did before he came on the scene.

Adopt the attitude that says "I was living my life just fine before I met you". At this point your passion and your zest for life is visible. That's what keeps you happy and when you are happy you are sexy.

3. Give him the space he needs to enjoy his freedom. Do not crowd him, do not smother him and make him think that you are his second mother. Do not try to tell him what to do or where to go or who to go out with. Leave him be. He is not a child, don't treat him like one. When you do not try to hang on to tightly, he'll want to stay around.

These are just a few tips to get you started on your quest to becoming irresistible to the men around you.

How many men or people in general have you smiled at this week 5, 6?

Keep it up ladies!

Alyssa K

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Why should I flirt?

Hey Ladies,

Okay,

So challenge is underway. I know all of you ladies, single or attached have something lined up practically every day this week.

I'm watching football this afternoon at a sports bar in case you all are wondering...

I have no problem setting the example...

Right, so why should I flirt?

When you flirt with a man, you stay in a that man's mind - sometimes for years!

Anyone can have a conversation - but flirting shows that you really care about him, not just as a person, but as a man!

The art of flirting can take you from nice to charming.

Flirting is not just for romance. A true flirt uses almost every encounter with a man to make him feel more like a man - making him feel charmed and wanted and special. Men love it when a woman cares enough to flirt with them.

Flirting sends a man the kind of message that is vital to his sense of masculinity and his self-esteem. There are so many men who are simply starved for this kind of attention.

Why not practice your flirting on the men you consider to be "safe"?

Why not flirt with men a little more today than you did yesterday?

Start with a warm smile for everyone. That's the first step in practicing flirting. And smiling is not against the law, the last time I checked!

But what if you don't habitually flash everyone a big smile as you go about your day?

In that case, don't make sudden radical changes in your behavior. That can cause your friends and co-workers to wonder what's up with you!

The best way to incorporate a new behavior in your life is in small doses. Otherwise, you may abandon a good effort before you've even begun. Whatever you do, keep flirting with men until it becomes as easy as saying hello.

Stay with it. Just flirt a LITTLE more today than you did yesterday. Start with smiling MORE. At everyone!

If you're married, small changes are a great way to start being more flirtatious with your husband. Start with a longer kiss hello or goodbye. Start showing more happiness with the world and with him.

Little changes go a long way when you increase the amount of flirting in your life.

Flirting says, "I find you attractive - I notice that you are a man - and I am a woman!"

It's a message that will never, ever go out of style.

Remember to keep your flirt on! Read more about how to flirt with men here.

More on flirting to come!

Ciao ladies

Alyssa K

Monday, June 21, 2010

Easy "Dating" Challenge

Hey Ladies,

Remember yesterday I mentioned a challenge?

Well I was thinking about bringing together what I said in my last two posts.

Okay so I said that you can meet guys anywhere where they meet to watch World Cup football but ladies its even simpler than that…there are guys everywhere, the store, on the streets, coffee, shop, supermarket, mall, school…they are everywhere, all around us…okay that’s the first thing and

Secondly, it’s not that hard to meet them. All you have to do is smile and be friendly. Look approachable and they will approach…

Okay so the challenge is to “date” a guy a day lol

In other words for the next two weeks when you go out, this is the challenge:

1. Find a reason to go out even if you are on vacation for the next fourteen days. If you sit at home, you cannot be in the challenge lol

2. Look and feel your best when you step out of the house. You look good, you feel good. You know it.

3. At some point during the day, you must make it a point to smile at a guy whom you do not know well or know at all and if possible, strike up friendly conversation.

4.That is ALL you do.

5.It can be any guy anywhere, just one every day. Smile, be friendly, look approachable

N.B. That's 14 guys by the way...

The objective here is not to find or catch a man. If that happens, great!

The objective here is to get those of you who are fixated on that one guy who is not stepping up to the plate to realize that you are attractive and that there are many guys out there who would fall over themselves to go out on a date with YOU!

Therefore there is NO reason for you to bother about that one guy who let’s face it, is just not cutting it. There is no reason for you to pine after him.

Now watch what happens… to YOU!

Email me or post on the blog and let me know what happens!

Ciao ladies

Alyssa K

P.S. I'll be posting this week about flirting with men. That should come in handy for the challenge!

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Why isn't he calling me?

Hey Ladies,

How is it going today?

Remember I said that I wanted to talk about some things I noticed in the emails, just generally though, don’t worry…

I remember I used to do this as well. If I was dating a guy or seeing a guy seriously and things weren’t working out, I could not seem to stop focusing on the problem.

If you realize that the guy you are seeing or talking to is not stepping up to the plate or does not seem interested or seems to blow hot and cold…

He's not calling you, asking you out, not wanting to spend time with you, making everything else a priority...

Just let it go…

Here’s why…the more you push him by calling him, texting, hinting at going out or whatever, the more he will feel smothered.

It won't inspire him to want to be with you.

Even if you don’t do it regularly, it’s the vibe that you give off when you call him because you yourself are uncertain about where it’s going with the guy.

That is what will push him away or at least put him in a position where he is going to keep stalling and not moving the interaction or relationship with you forward.

When a guy starts to cool off or act uninterested or aloof, that’s fine leave him to himself, just let him be…

But that does not mean that YOU sit around waiting for him to come to his senses, oh no…

Then you fool yourself into thinking that HE is the only man in the world for you and that if he doesn’t want you, no one else will…

And that is NOT true.

Think in terms of abundance, NOT scarcity…

There are way too many quality, attractive men around for you to be sitting around waiting for one!

So you leave the one who’s acting uninterested and unsure to sort himself out and you go out, mingle, be friendly and meet other men!

Inside that is not what you want to do, believe me I know, I have been there but look at the other option…

Making yourself miserable wondering why he is acting the way he is acting.

That is not YOUR problem.

It’s better to go out, have fun, step up your game and try to forget all about him. I’m not saying it will be easy but it does make you feel a whole lot better!

And it's when YOU FEEL better, attractive and confident BECAUSE you are going out and having the time of your life, watch what happens...

Are you ladies up for a challenge? I'll sort you out...

Ciao

Alyssa K

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Where can I go to meet guys?

Hey ladies,

Well summer is shaping up well. I have a few things I would like to say based on the emails I have been getting but one thing at a time...lol

A few ladies want to know where they can go to meet guys.

For right now let’s keep it simple. No reason to complicate life.

All I have to say is FIFA World Cup 2010!

For the next few weeks, go to a few Sports Bars, pubs, etc. and take in some of the games! You can go alone or you can go with a few friends.

Where ever there is a screen, beer and football, rest assured, there will be a large number of guys.

It’s a bit like landing a job. The higher the number of interviews you have, the more of a chance you have to land the job you really want.

Likewise, the higher the number of guys, the more of a chance you have to meet a cool guy.

Then when you are in the area, you get to scope out the prospects, smile, make eye contact, flirt but most importantly you are out there meeting people, (men and women, let’s face it) and the more people you meet the more of a chance you have to meet Mr. Right!

Yes, you can watch football at home but in order to meet people you have to get out!

In order to "catch a fish" (excuse the terminology but it's just an analogy), you have to cast your line or net where there are large quantities of fish. Okay analogy over...lol

The world is your oyster!

Get to it ladies! Summer 2010, time to shift perspective.

Ciao

Alyssa K

Friday, June 18, 2010

How to keep your man wanting more - Intellectual attraction anyone?

Hey Ladies,

I like this topic of how to keep your man wanting more. There are so many ways to keep yourself intriguing, alluring and mysterious to the man in your life.

That way you keep him wanting more and hungry for your attention and your interest and you have lots of fun in the process!

It's not enough to be physically attractive. We know that already!

There are plenty of gorgeous women but you will have realized that these women are not necessarily the women who are able to keep their guys interested and fired up all the time.

The problem these women have is that they are unable to able to create the kind of attraction in a man that makes him crave their attention and crave their company.

So how do you do that?

To keep your man wanting more of you, you have to become more interesting to put it simply. You have to be much more interesting to be around.

You have to become the woman who would stimulate your man's mind in a way that it has never been stimulated before.

To do this you have to find a topic (or a few topics) that is interesting to both of you - something that would allow you both to connect on a deeper level.

When he thinks of you, he must think "hmmm, I wonder what she would think about xyz"; " I want to know more about her" or "I wonder what her take on this would be."

Just think about the following to help you through this:

• What are you most passionate about?

• What are his interests? What is he passionate about?

• What can connect you two at a deeper level?

• What do you two talk about when you are together?

• Can you talk and laugh for hours about subjects that you are both passionate about?

Start with these questions to get your mind going and see what you come up with.

When you can stimulate your man's mind and stir up feelings deep within him that he did not even know he had is when you will have no problems keeping him inspired to be with you and only you!

And then, voila...

You are suddenly a whole lot closer to becoming the woman he just has to be around and talk to...

Then you have him right where YOU want him...

Friday, June 11, 2010

What should you do when a guy does not call?

Hello ladies,

What should you do if a guy does not call? This is a question I have got quite a few times.

We all have had the experience at one time or another when a man did not call when he said he would, or did not call after the first date or just stopped calling after a couple of months and then backed away until he disappeared altogether.

While sometimes it is true that he could have been in a terrible accident and in hospital, 99.99% of the time that is not the reason for a man not calling.

There is usually nothing else going on other than that he lost interest in you and does not know how to tell you or that he was never that interested in the first place.

When a guy you are really into does not call or stops calling, what you do NOT want to do is call him three times a day or worse yet, leave voice messages in which you ask him if he is okay and to please call you back. No...

So what should you do when a man does not call? What should you do when it appears as though a man has lost interest in you?

The answer is...absolutely nothing. That's exactly right. You make yourself just as scarce as he is.

Any calling, texting or emailing from your end to find out what is wrong and trying to convince him to call you back and to like you again will only result in him completely ignoring or being nasty to you beyond words.

You can NEVER convince a man to be interested in you again.

You just have to let it go; drop the ball. If he picks it up again, great!

If not, no love lost. Move on because he was obviously not that interested in you in the first place.

But maybe you want to understand reasons why a guy will not call a woman even if he likes her and how YOU can INSPIRE him to call you, then click here ! Now this is knowledge and insight that you can use to your advantage to get any man to WANT to call you!

As always, any crises or if you have any questions, feel free to email me at askalyssak@gmail.com !

Ciao

Alyssa K

When a guy says that he is busy what does it really mean?

Have you ever had this happen to you? You have been going out this guy for a while and all of a sudden he says he is busy as in too busy to talk to you or to spend time with you. What does he really mean when he says this?

Let's give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he really is busy. Even so, if a guy is really interested in pursuing you, even if he is working 18 hours a day, 7 days a week, if he wants to see you and spend time with you, he will find a way to do so. Remember that men go after what they want and the women they want.

Any time a guy says this to you and does not make an effort to spend time with you, he is just not interested in you or attracted to you. It is his way of trying to avoid you and to keep you at a distance.

So, now that you know exactly what is going on, what do you do?

I'll tell you what you do NOT do. You do NOT call him; you do not text him and you do not bother him.

You do not try to elbow your way into his busy schedule.

You let him be. If he is that busy, give him all the time and space that he needs to focus on his busy schedule.

When you do this it allows him to see that you have no interest in trying to control him or his time. Remember that men appear to value their freedom above all else so let him have his freedom.

More than that, it allows you the time to see if this is the sort of man YOU want in your life. Remember that it is all about YOU. As long as you keep YOU as your focus it becomes easier.

He is clearly too busy for you so should you really be pining after him? We already know that if a man wants to be with you, he will move mountains to do so.

Why not start to enjoy YOUR freedom?

Why don't you get busy becoming more fabulous?

What if you were to get busy on that project you wanted to start?
What if you started on that project and it turned into a business?
What if that business started to do really well?
What if you gained financial freedom because of it?
What if you started to go out more with your friends?
What if you could now use this time to take weekend getaways?

You see where I am going with this? It really doesn't matter if he is too busy to see you!

You got things to do, people to see, places to go!

That's just yet another way you become THAT woman !

Ciao

Alyssa K

How to keep your man wanting more - Building emotional attraction

Hey,

So we talked about building emotional attraction a few days ago.

But well you need some practical tips so here are a few. The reason that I like these and think that they work so well is that

1.They keep YOU in that positive, feel good, happy place because you worry a lot less about the outcome since you are so busy having fun

2.They give both you and the man in your life what you both want

3.You can enjoy an in the moment connection which does work out much better in the long run.

Again, the whole thing is fascinating but watching it at work in your life and in your interaction with the men in your life is even better. So here goes!

1. Play with him and have FUN. Make sure that you have lots of fun together. Always keep yourself and him smiling.

When YOU are smiling, he is smiling, everything is good and "la vie est belle" as they say. This tip may sound incredibly simplistic but it is really very powerful.

2. Give him as much space as you can. Enjoy the time you have when you are together. Have fun and live in the moment but do NOT crowd him.

Use this time away from him to replenish YOUR positive energy, come back refreshed and with a brand new aura that draws him in.

Pull back sometimes and allow him to miss you, to wonder about you and to come looking for you. Let him have fun with that sometimes. Enjoy the magic when he finds you.

3. Be interesting and unpredictable. Be provocative sometimes with what you say and do so that he never quite knows what you will say or do next.

That way he cannot help but think about you because you keep him guessing. You feel more confident, more daring like YOU are "the one". Like Neo...

4. Take things slowly to the point where he is not sure how into him you are. It does not matter how much fun you are having with him, do not try to rush ahead by forcing your feelings on him.

The key here is staying one step behind him and two steps ahead so that he is not quite sure what you want from him. This is how you keep him on his toes lol

Do you see how much fun you can have with this?

Building emotional attraction is as much fun for you as it is for him and in the end you both get what you want!

For more insight into this, you can download Man Mistake Eraser using this special link to get your bonus! Click on the link near the top of the page!

Ciao

Alyssa K

How to inspire a man to want to be around you

Hey Ladies,

How’s it going?

So I gave you ample time to reflect on the questions.

I’ll share my experience. I don’t know if you can relate but here is what I realized. It may be overly simplistic but…

When I used to feel uptight or uneasy about my interaction with my significant other in any way, things never seemed to go smoothly at all.

By uptight or uneasy I mean, thinking too much about what he said or did and what that would mean down the line.

And the thing is a whole range of negative thoughts would build one upon the other until I had worked myself up in a right tizzy for NO reason whatsoever.

All the while significant other is steadily shutting down because he can sense that something he does not want is going to happen, lol i.e me wanting to “talk”.

That "talk" I wanted to have was coming from that place of fear and things are not going well so that's what came out.

In my experience, the more you fixate on what you do not want to happen or on whatever your fears for your relationship or your interaction with men are, the more you will see exactly what you do NOT want play out just like a movie.

Except that this movie will play itself out a few days, weeks or months down the line like a self fulfilling prophecy.

That was then…

Now, I find that I do not think past any given moment. Granted this is not something that just happened overnight.

When you live in the moment and enjoy what is whilst remaining completely detached from any outcome whatsoever, your only objective being to enjoy the moment for what is, here’s what happens to YOU:

-You feel lighter, not weighed down by "what ifs" because frankly it doesn’t matter one way or the other

-You have positive energy flowing through you because you are happy in the moment

-You transmit that energy to all around you including the man in your life

-You inspire him to want to be around you more because you make him feel good when he’s around you

Then it becomes very easy to connect to him because he WANTS to connect to you and thus you have created emotional attraction.

Put that together with some sexy flirting tips and you are on your way to making him yours!

Ciao

Alyssa K