Monday, October 18, 2010

How do you know if he is Mr. Right?

For some, it is challenging to know if you have found the one but if we are clear about the fact that you teach people how to treat you and that they respond to you in whatever way that you allow them to then knowing if a guy is the one for you becomes a bit easier.

I’ll just write what comes to my head…

How do you feel in his presence? How is he treating you when he is with you? Do you feel as though you have his complete attention when he is with you? Does he make you feel as though he wants to be with you? Does he disrespect you in any way?

Does he put you down or insult you? Does he flirt or come onto other women when he is with you? Does he make you feel as though the reason he isn’t is because you are there? Subtle, but important…Does he verbally or physically abuse you? Does he cheat on you?

If he makes you feel uncomfortable in any way then chances are he is not Mr. Right. If he makes you feel that you are a thorn in his side, he is not Mr. Right. If he makes you feel like you are annoying him or stepping onto his turf then he is not the one. If he cares more about what his friends or other people think of him than you do, not the One. If there are too many queens in the castle, he is not the one.

There are many different examples I could list and I am sure that you can fill in some of your own from your own experiences and those of your friends.

How he makes you feel when you are with him helps you to determine whether or not this is the guy for you. This is why it is important for you to be very picky about who you choose to spend your time and affection with. Why reward a guy if he is not doing anything to be rewarded for? What is the point of rewarding bad behavior?

But then again, if he treats you like this and you are still with him and giving him your time and energy, what does that say about you?

On the other hand, if he makes you feel like you are the only one for him and consistently acts this way, then you may have found your dime. If he makes you feel like he would do anything for you and the thought of being with another woman or cheating on you never enters his mind, then you may have found the one.

If he calls you up during the day just to say hi, what’s up; if he surprises you and does nice things for you without you even having to ask; if he lets everybody who will listen know that you are his lady; if he makes you feel comfortable in his presence and makes you feel like he is there to defend you even though you don’t really need him to be there, chances are…

This is a man that is clearly hooked on you. Why? Because you behaved in a way that made him know that you do not settle for less than you deserve. You have self respect and you can take him or leave him. Either way you will be okay.

If you behave in this way all the time, Mr. Right will stand out because he will be looking for a lady with self-respect.

When you have high self-esteem, you make fewer mistakes. Even if you have made a few, doesn’t matter because starting today you can change, become a lady who does not settle for scraps, take back control of your love life and manage to get Mr. Right hooked on you.

Later ladies

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