Saturday, May 8, 2010

Should I ask him out? Mistake Number 2

Hello ladies

What’s up with you today?

I am chilling out and enjoying the cool weather.

Yes ladies, I am taking calls and giving FREE ONE ON ONE ADVICE for the entire month of May when you order any of the resources through my blog. I know that some of you have specific challenges you would like some support for that I may not yet have addressed so you can call me up and we’ll get to the bottom of it.

Should I ask him out? This is a question I got the other day.

Ladies, I have a feeling you know what I am going to say to this one.

NO…

NO WAY, no how…

The scenario is that the guy is calling and flirting and acting really sweet and attentive but is just not stepping up to the plate to ask the lady out.

In essence he it appears as though he is sending mixed signals. He seems interested but not quite and I admit it could be confusing if you OVER THINK it.

Ladies please stop over thinking the actions of men whom you have not yet dated or whom you have just met.

I’m just going to give an opinion on what I think:

When a guy is giving mixed signals but is not asking you out he is either:

Attached (married, engaged, has a girlfriend, seeing someone else, etc)

OR

Is having issues he needs to work out alone (professional, personal, etc.)

Translation: he is not emotionally available to date you or see you right now so leave it alone. DO NOT ask him out.

Another thing is that whatever the reason he is not asking you out now, it is still not your role to ask him out. If you ask him out,

-you are stepping into his role and there is nothing left for him to do

-you are pursuing him. It’s the first date so he should be asking you out first

-if he does say yes, you will never know how interested he is in you. Did he say yes not to hurt your feelings; because he had nothing else to do that day; to be polite; because he just wanted to hang out; you see what I am saying?

-you are already in an inferior position since you have just given him the option of saying no or dictating the tone of the relationship. It’s sort of like asking a guy where you stand in the relationship.

You have no control of the situation anymore… when you don’t have control of you or the situation, you are back to being a nice girl.

-You are not providing him with a challenge. If you are asking him out, you are making it too easy. He already knows you like him and want something more. He might as well just keep you as a back up now and see who else is out there.

-you are setting yourself up to over analyse some more and it just goes downhill from there.

Don’t do it ladies! I did it ONCE and it did NOT turn out well. I meet ladies sometimes who think there is nothing wrong with it.

Now if you have done this, you are probably making mistakes daily and don't even know it.

If you have done this already click here to erase those mistakes and to find out what to do next to redeem yourself! You’ll find the link to Man Mistake Eraser in the first few lines!

You might not realize that it is already going downhill because the signs are subtle at times. Even if you have made some of the worse mistakes, you can still keep his interest.

But take care with this one ladies…

You know where to find me in the event of a crisis...

Ciao bellas

Alyssa K

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