Hi Ladies,
Let's talk about calling guys.
Have you ever been in a situation where you met a guy and you two had a great conversation? He asked you for your number at the end of what you thought was a great conversation, in fact you two exchanged numbers…
Or have you ever been on date with a guy and you two had a lovely time? Conversation was flowing. You felt at ease with him. You thought you had a great connection. There were definitely sparks flying. At the end of the date, you said good bye and expected to meet up with him again soon…
Or, or have you been seeing a guy and he was calling and texting and everything was cool for about a month or two and then he suddenly became distant…
And then, a few days passed and, horror of horrors, he did NOT call…then the over-active brain syndrome kicks in…
You begin to wonder:
Wait, he hasn’t called…
Why hasn’t he called?
Why did he stop calling?
Was it something I said or did?
You hold the phone in your hand and will it to ring. After a few hours or days of that, you call up a girlfriend to beat the drum of the guy not calling. You dream up endless possibilities as to why the guy hasn’t called yet and think that there is a possibility that he may never call you.
Maybe he wasn’t interested…
Maybe he’s married…
Maybe he has a girlfriend…
Maybe he lost your number…
Maybe he lost his mobile phone…
Maybe he’s ill and in hospital…
Maybe he got into an accident…
Maybe he was beamed to another planet…
Then curiosity gets the better of you and your girl friend you called and she tells you… “Just call, just call the man”. Mind you, she is just telling you to go ahead and call him because by now she is sick to death of hearing you whine. So you call even though, your instinct tells you NOT TO.
Does this sound familiar?
Here’s the thing. It could be that he’s playing it cool, like in the first two examples and not wanting to come on too strong.
On the other hand his not calling you probably has NOTHING at all to with you. You know why? Because he is probably NOT thinking about you. If you have this much time to sit down and analyse why a guy is NOT calling you, then you need to find a hobby quick!
I’m serious!
Back to the issue of calling a man . Here is why you should NOT call him in the initial stages of dating. There is protocol too for calling when you are in a relationship.
1. When you make that first call, you are emboldened to make another and another so it gets to the point where YOU are in essence chasing him.
2. When you chase him, you are taking on the role of the pursuer, i.e. the role of the male. That, bella, is NOT your role and it will never be.
3. You chase him and you will NEVER create the type of attraction it takes to draw him into you. You are supposed to be gently drawing him to you, not beating him over the head and dragging him back! Stop it because it will not work.
4. When you initiate calls or other messages, you can never know how interested the guy is in you. When you sit back and let him do the calling and the pursuing, then YOU can gauge his level of interest. Besides, he likes that because that is HIS role.
Of course, there are instances where you can call and initiate contact with a man. If you know that you have always had a problem where this is concerned, download a copy of Calling Men…the Complete Guide to Calling and Emailing the Men You Date. This will give you the insight you need on when you should call him.
Understand that until you master this aspect, you will not be the woman that men adore and never want to leave.
If you have been calling and chasing after a guy, stop it! Just drop the ball for a few days and see what happens. Watch the magic unfold! Don’t forget to share how it worked out for you!
If you need any specific advice or have any questions, email me at askalyssak@gmail.com. Always happy to hear from readers!
Ciao bellas
Alyssa K
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