When he says he needs space - That's fine, you need your space too!

Hey ladies,

Still on the needing space issue.

Often, you will realize that guys won’t say anything about needing space until they have been pulling back for a while, acting distant, not calling or whatever else they do to make you want to pull your hair out trying to figure out what’s wrong.

Freaking annoying you will agree...

It’s only when you realize that they are acting distant for a days on a stretch that you realize something is up and then, you ask “uhmm, is there something wrong?”

They deny that anything is wrong and then after you prod a bit more, it usually comes out “I just need some space”.

This is after you’ve suffered through the distant behavior and made yourself sick thinking you are losing them.

Sounds familiar? It makes you want to strangle them.

The key is of course NOT getting to this point.

But what if you have reached this point with a man? What do you do now?

I’ll tell you what you do not do. You do NOT open your eyes as wide as saucers and start to have a quivering bottom lip.

You do NOT ask him what he means or ask him if it means you are breaking up and then throwing a fit if he says yes, begging him to stay.

You audibly (this is important) breathe a huge sigh of relief and tell him that you have been feeling the same way and it’s good that HE brought it up. You need some space too…

You need a freaking break too.

See now if he thought that you needed him around you that badly, he was sadly mistaken.

LOL, that’s how you start correcting that mistake.

But now, understand that if he said that, your attraction quotient has fallen somewhat. Now you have to ramp it back up and become insanely attractive to him again.

That is where this gem that was clearly a hit this summer comes in!

It is not just enough to tell him that you need your space.

You have to SHOW him. Therein lies the challenge!

But ladies, when you have met and overcome that challenge, it’s a whole new world for you and the men in your life!

Just remember, you need your space too…

Works wonders I tell ya!

Love

Alyssa K

What does "I need space" mean?

Have you ever found yourself in a relationship, having what you think is the time of your life, everything is all rosy,

all of a sudden your boyfriend says “I just need some space,” or “maybe we just need some space”?

What the hell does that mean?

I know some of you would start to freak out and think that this is the end of the relationship. This is it, you are breaking up, end of the road, how could he do this to you... and on and on with the negative thoughts.

But wait, not so fast…

What if that is all it means? Maybe you do need space away from each other because:

Think about it honestly for a minute...

You have been spending way too much time together and one (or both of you) is beginning to feel smothered and you need some time to breathe

The spark you had at the beginning is fizzling out and the attraction he had for you is waning

The relationship is going too fast and he wants to slow it down

You both need some alone time to collect your thoughts, handle personal business, reflect on yourself, the relationship, to regroup, etc…

It is possible to have too much of a good thing and too much of a good thing can ruin it.

Ever heard the term familiarity breeds contempt?

Well in the case of relationships, it breeds contempt, boredom, loss of attraction and a possible break-up...

The objective in any relationship is to keep the spark alive and preserve some of the mystery.

Without the spark, the chemistry, the attraction whatever you want to call it the relationship is doomed.

The only way you can do that is to spend some time away from each other to regroup and rekindle the spark.

How do you do that?

Whenever you hear “I need some space” from a man, well you heard him, give him his space!

But there is a way to do it so that he comes looking for you because you have yet again become so incredibly attractive to him all of a sudden.

You no longer make mistakes, you are now on point and have him exactly where you want him.

He said he wanted his space but suddenly he can't get enough of you! He's hooked...

And another one bites the dust! Hahaha!

Later ladies

Alyssa K

Statistics - Don't be a nickle looking for a dime...

Hey,

So I came across this song the other day and I thought hmmm...interesting...food for thought.

I won't say anymore for now...but you know that I can pick this to pieces...you already know me, right? lol

Statistics - Lyfe Jennings

25% of all men are unstable

25% of all men can't be faithful

30% of them don't mean what they say

and 10% of the remaining 20 are gay

That leaves you with 10% chance of ever finding your man

That means you better pay attention to these word that I say

I'm gonna teach how to expose the 90%

And show you what to do to get the other 10

(chorus)
RULE #1

Don't be a booty call
If he don't respect you girl he gone forget you girl
AND 2

If he's in a relationship

And he would cheat on her that means he would cheat on you

RULE 3

Tell him that you're celibate

and if he want some of your goodies he gone have to work for it
RULE 4

Be the person you wanna find

Don't be a nickle out here lookin' for a dime

STATISTICS

(verse 2)
15% of all men got a complex

15% of all men don't practice safe sex

20% of them are from homes without a father

so there's a 50/50 chance that you'll marry a coward

something to think about when you're taking a shower

something to swallow when you drink your bottled water

I'm gonna teach how to expose the 90%

And show you what to do to get the other 10

(chorus)

(bridge)

Be patient
He's waitin'
you don't gotta settle for less
leave all that stress alone

get you a backbone

stop being sorry for yourself
Chances make champions

It's gonna take patience
Time is still wastin'

Listen to the song and watch the video over in the Videos/Podcasts section :)

Later Ladies

Alyssa K

P.S I would be remiss if I didn't let you in on the fun some of my readers are having. Click here and order your hard copy. Make the wrongs right and pre-empt any more mistakes! Be the one that gets him all hot and bothered and voila..he's hooked on you!

Absolutely amazing! I love it!

Summer 2010 is almost over! Which guy is hooked on you?

Hi Ladies,

How did it go? How was summer 2010?

As far as I am concerned it is pretty much over but I hope that you had lots of fun being the best you that you could be!

I know I had fun! I also took some time out to answer emails because they continued to come in and I like to give feedback to you as soon as possible!

I picked up quite a few tidbits to share with you over the summer and I will do that over the course of the next few weeks!

I am now back in full force and will not be mincing words in the second half of this year.

You know what to do so just continue doing it!

I am well aware of the fun that some of you have been having this summer with this one.

Works wonders doesn't it? Yes, it erases mistakes but more than that...

You read it, have some aha moments, use the techniques, start feeling really good about yourself, empowered enough to make some bold, brazen steps to change YOU and your relationship and you get the men in your life to sit up and pay attention!

Win, Win!

What else could you ask for?

So who did you manage to work your charms on? Which guy did you get hooked on you?

No worries, if you haven't achieved it just yet though. Only a matter of time!

Alyssa K

He does not want to commit to you - what should your next move be?

Hey Ladies,

I’ve been in bed with the flu. I was having fun with the World Cup, summer BBQs, parties, concerts and my blogging of course, and then suddenly, I had the flu and was confined to my house :(

Anyway, I’m getting back on my feet slowly.

That didn’t stop the emails though. I have some stories for you.

I heard a really sad story of a break-up this week.

“Mya” had been seeing a guy for 7 years. They started going steady in their late teens. She had been convinced that he was the one that she was going to spend the rest of her life with. During this time, there had been red flags that she should have paid attention to but she ignored them.

Red flags:

-He used to disappear for days on end without calling her. When she called him the phone would often be turned off and she wouldn’t be able to get hold of him at all.

-She would enquire after him and his mother would say that he was spending the night at a friend’s house. The friend was female by the way.

-He never talked about his future with her in it, never mentioned the word marriage or anything about taking the relationship further.

-He refused to entertain the idea of her moving in with him

-She forced him to buy her a ring and in the end he did, begrudgingly no doubt.

-There were photos of him on Facebook with other women clearly enjoying himself without her.

This week he broke up with her and two days later she saw him at a party with another lady whom he was very affectionate with. She went ballistic and made a scene but that is another story…

Ladies, pay attention to all red flags!

When you find yourself in a relationship with a man who does not seem to know whether he wants to commit to you or not, it is time for you to pull out.

Pull out and cease communication. There is nothing else for you two to discuss. The only man that you give your attention to is the one who is hooked on you for the person whom you are.

It is not that he is not quite sure what he wants. It is not that he is too busy or has to focus on his career or get himself together before he figures out whether he wants to be with you or not.

Men know whether you are the one they want to be with long term or not. The only thing that a man who is not taking a relationship with you forward is sure about is that he does not want to take it with YOU to the next level.

You know when you feel this disconnect because you then try everything you can to keep him from walking out the door. You beg for a ring; you ask him if you can move in with him; you ask him why he hasn’t given you a key to his place; you try to control him and his every move in an attempt to hold on to him. That will always have the opposite effect.

You shouldn’t have to do that much to get a man to stay with you. Why do you feel that you need to? Okay so you have made a few mistakes. Things did not go as planned and suddenly you are in this awful place that your former thoughts created.

So what do you do? Do you want to stay there or go to a better feeling place? It’s your call…

This is where you have to know yourself and who you are at the core, know what you want from a relationship, go after what you want and settle for nothing less. This is where you let go of fear and start to think like a beautiful, confident woman who is in total control of her life and who she spends her precious time with. You will be happy either way because you do not need him to make you happy and complete.

Okay, so he doesn’t want to commit to you. His loss…

You are now 100% focused on you. You are learning from your mistakes. You are now “the one” for YOU. Suddenly you are a brand new lady that he (whoever he is) gets to spend time with if he plays his cards right…

Can you say hooked anyone?

P.S Join the discussion on the fan page on this topic!