Friday, April 30, 2010

What Does A Man Want In A Woman?

Hey Ladies,

How are you?

What do you have planned today? After work, I am going for a drink at a salsa bar. It’s a bar yes, but there is a really spacious dance floor. The music is cool. Not only salsa but house, R&B, hip hop, reggaeton, techno, you name it they play it. The ambiance is really good as well!

I expect you ladies have a whole weekend planned. You need to get up and go out in order to practise what you learn here lol.

Today we’ll be discussing what does a man want in a woman

You know how I like to use stories to illustrate my point so listen up…

Imagine a lady who has got it together, very pretty, she has a hobby which she is absolutely in love with and is lucky to have found a job doing the very thing she loves; she loves to talk and to be the centre of attention.

She thrives on attention and will do anything to get it but she is really cool so that can be overlooked. She is very outspoken generally and has an opinion on everything. She loves to go out and have fun. Well at least she used to…

She is seeing someone. It was a long distance relationship at first but she flew half way around the world to be with him. He is what people would describe as a cool, laid back guy, not a care in the world. The lady in question has become a completely different person when she is with her boyfriend.

-She no longer has an opinion on anything and agrees with whatever he says
-She will not go out unless it is with him or unless he is coming
-She refuses to make friends in the city to which she has relocated because she wants to spend all her time with him
-She calls him all sorts of pet names in public
-She does not go partying and wants to be home by 9pm so she has the whole night to spend with him

Result?

Her boyfriend has tried to break up with her more than once but she cries and he gives in and stays with her. He has cheated on her AND she knows about it but the behavior I described above has not changed in the least. He actually begs her to go out and she refuses because she prefers to spend all her time with him.

When I hear stories like this I want to give these ladies a good shake. It is obvious that she loves him and wants him to love her BUT she’s going about it in ways that end up pushing him away. She thinks they will get married.

That is the type of behavior you want to avoid at all costs with a man. Would you have expected the woman I described at first to act this way with a guy she is seeing? Would you think that she needed to?

There are 3 top traits a man looks for in woman. You cannot fake these traits. You either have them or you do not. If you do not have them, I am going to help you to learn them:

-Self-confidence. A woman who is confident and sure of herself is a turn-on to any man. She does not need his approval or for him to validate her worth. She knows who she is; comfortable in her own skin; makes her boundaries clear and can tell him to get lost if he is disrespectful in any way.

-Independence. A woman who can stand on her own two feet and does not accept hand-outs from anyone will command respect from a man. She does not need him to take her out to have dinner at a fancy restaurant.

She can go to the fancy restaurant when she wants to and treat him to a fancy dinner on occasion. This is a woman who has goals and dreams and works hard to achieve those goals and dreams. She will make it in life with or without him.

-Fun-loving. Men love a woman that they can play with. This is the woman that they can joke around with; tease; and have a witty war of words, a pillow fight or a game of charades with. These are the type of women who live in the moment and are not worried about what tomorrow may bring. They live for today.

Ladies, do not fall into the trap above. Men will sometimes bait you into this type of behavior. Clingy, insecure behaviour is NOT what a man wants in a woman!

If you are not sure about what a man wants in a woman, find out!

Learn how to exude that air about you that men love!

Learn about your “opponent” lol and what you need to do for YOU in order to become that dream woman that men want to meet and stay with!

Talk to you later ladies! Have fun this weekend!

Ciao bellas

Alyssa K

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Get Him To Chase YOU! Lesson From A Night Out

Hello ladies,

What a beautiful day! I had a bit of a lie in today because remember I told you yesterday that I was going to this house party last night?

Well I didn’t get to bed until like 3:00 am so I am still a bit sleepy but I’ll try to be coherent.

Ignore the times that show up on my blog. Believe you me I do not blog at 3 am and 7 am in the morning. I am on the other side of the Atlantic, that’s the reason for the ridiculous times that you see on the blog.

Well I’m going to let you in on what I observed at this party last night and what we can all learn from it.

There was a really good mix of men and women. I would say that there were about 50 people in total who came.

There was some eye-candy I must say. I met an attractive guy from one of the East Asian countries which will remain nameless. I have no idea who is reading this blog lol. He had a great smile and personality and a really nice name and we had a good brief conversation.

It’s the type of conversation that flows easily and in which you are completely at ease. Some would call this subtle flirting. Flirting with guys is one of the best ways to test your attraction quotient and how you are doing on this journey to transforming YOU and YOUR relationships!

If you do not know the secrets of flirting , learn and start practising them stat!

All of the men there were attractive but there was one who I guess, you could say,stood out because he looks like a model.

I’ll paint the picture for you. He was tall about 6”3 I would say and has a nice build and muscle tone, had a deep tan like if he just came from surfing or something, hazel eyes and brown hair. He was wearing a shirt and he had like the 2 top buttons undone and a knee length pair of jeans. He was good-looking too.

Yes I noticed him. I said hi to him after HE made it a point to get my attention and say hi to me and that was that. Every so often, he’d turn around and look at me and smile.

But here’s what I noticed. He’s very confident and self-assured because he knows he looks like a model. Maybe he is a model, who knows? He mingles easily, is very friendly and has SWAGGER. I'm going to dedicate an entire blog post to men with swagger and how to handle them...

A lot of the women at the party were falling over themselves to talk to him. Imagine the guy and his friend who is just a good looking mind you, are sitting and about 3 or 4 women leaning in to talk to them, hanging onto their every word.

They were sitting back enjoying. I thought to myself, this is why a lot of us will continue to have issues with guys because we let them sit back and not put in any effort to get to us.

What really caught my attention was this one lady who made it clear that she liked him. They had been talking for a while earlier. The room really was not that big so it was obvious.

When he was about to leave he made the rounds saying bye to everyone and she made it her business to start a conversation. I have no idea what she said but here is what I saw.

They started off about six feet off from me. She was leaning in to talk to him over the music and he was leaning back. The more she came forward the more he backed off and they looked as though they were talking fine. I kid you not, they ended up about a foot in front of me because he kept moving backwards.

They finished their conversation with him probably repeating the farewell because if he had drifted back any further he would have bumped into me. Then he turned around and walked away heading to the door and get this … she FOLLOWED him.

Ladies, moral of the story, the more you move towards any guy, the more he will back off!

You always want him to be coming towards you. In that way HE is the one pursuing YOU. If you have been having challenges where that is concerned, you'll have to tighten up on that.

If you want some ideas you can try out when next you go out, meet and end up chatting with a guy, have a read of this.

If you interested in having a new tip to try out every week when you are out and about and meeting guys, send me an email at askalyssak@gmail.com to get on my mailing list. Those who have already sent me email and are using the resources, you are already on!

Ciao bellas

Alyssa K

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

What Does a Man Want In a Woman - What am I doing Wrong?

Hi Ladies,

How are you doing today? What do you have planned today? What are you going to do to make yourself happy? I am going to an aerobics class and then off to a party where there will be some great food since the host is an EXCELLENT cook! Yum, I cannot wait!

Onto today's discussion!

Have you ever said this to yourself, “It seems I can’t do anything right with men” or have you asked yourself, “what is wrong with me, why do I keep pushing guys away?”.

Many women have come to this realization when they say these things, “The more I try to please him, the more distant he seems to become.” “When I ask him what’s wrong, he says nothing.”

Believe me I have said these kind s of things a time or two…okay maybe more. I said this up until the point that I realized that I had to change something. That realization came about a year ago. I had to do something different to get the kind of companionship or relationship I really wanted.

There was absolutely no point doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. That would just be insane!

That is the point I want to get you to! Having a complete shift or change in perspective that will help you to get the kind of results YOU want.

The good news is that you have found this blog with all the tips and resources! You were actively looking for more information that will help you to become the kind of woman who gets it right each and every time with guys and you found it!

Seek and you will find… So the first part has been completed.

Now I just want you to promise me that you will put all that you learn here into practice to attract the kind of man who deserves a beautiful, sophisticated, independent, strong-spirited woman like you!

I would bet anything that you are a responsible lady, you work hard at a fulfilling and sometimes demanding job. It’s not that you don’t try to be kind, gracious and patient, but none of that seems to be getting you anywhere. The more you try to please your man or the guy you are dating, the more he skips AWAY from you. What is up with that you wonder.

Perhaps the men you date don’t seem to appreciate you or if you’re married it might seem as though your husband seems less interested in your marriage than he did not so long ago. The more you struggle to get him to understand you and what you want from the relationship, the more he pulls away and clams up. And of course the more frustrated and moody YOU become...vicious circle.

You’re open to advice, but where should you turn?

If you can relate to this and I know you can, there is great news. A really good book called, The Woman Men Adore…and Never Want to Leave will show you exactly the characteristics that men find irresistible in a woman. That is ideally what you are looking for right?

The good news is that these are things that ANY woman can apply. But there is one word of warning. These insights are powerful and might seem unconventional to a woman because they were designed by a man, to affect men. Please remember this rule: What works with women does not work with men.

If you feel frustrated in your relationship or while dating, there is good news. You don’t have to try harder, you simply need to know WHAT to try.

What you need is a blueprint of what men find captivating in a woman and most likely did in you, as well BEFORE he started to pull away. The Woman Men Adore…and Never Want to Leave is a bestselling e-book that shows women exactly how to attract AND keep a man.

What is more, you can download this book and start reading it in the next five minutes and start using the information right away without anyone being the wiser.

That is what I love about e-books. I don’t have to go to the book store and risk running into a friend or colleague at the cashier and having them peer over my shoulder or have to hide it under the cushions when people pop by. I can simply turn off the computer, lol. No one needs to know what challenges you are having with the man in your life!

But make sure you get all the help YOU need. This is about YOU. Let's transform you into the dream woman that the guy in you life loves to be around! Click here to start that transformation now.

Don't forget to let us all know how it works out for YOU!

ciao bellas

Alyssa K

How To Keep Your Man? Keep him Wanting More!

Hello ladies,

Thank you for the emails! I enjoyed reading them! I try to respond as soon as I can. I always like to hear from my readers.

I will be starting a weekly email programme soon so keep the emails coming. That way I have your addresses on file for the email list!

Okay so today we’ll be talking about how to keep your man wanting more…of you. When you keep your man wanting more of YOU, you keep your man!

We have mentioned it a lot here in the blog, men LOVE a challenge. If you continue to create that challenge for him, you continue to increase what I like to call your attraction quotient.

To keep your man, you have to get him so completely attracted to you; so completely into you; completely in love with you , that it never enters his mind to leave you.

When you reach that point, you become the woman your man cannot live without. That is the point we as women all want to get to, right?

So how do we get him to crave more of you? How do you keep him?

1. Be fun to be around. Enjoy the moment as is and have fun with him. Be the kind of woman who your guy thinks is cool to be around. Find cool ways to play with him.

Joke around with him, tease him, laugh, have a pillow fight, play a game of cards or Scrabble. There are tons of ways that you can play with your guy. Get creative and come up with some lol. It's better to find things that suit your unique personality anyway!

That way he gets to have fun and bond with you on the emotional level needed for him to fall in love with you.

2. Give the man his space! I cannot stress this enough. Did I put that in bold enough? lol

Men appear to love their freedom above all else so give him his freedom! You were not born with him, you are not joined at the hip.

As my mother says he had a life before you met him so allow him to live his life like he did before you came into it and you do the same!

By the way my mother and my father have been together for the last 35 years and he's still crazy about her. I just roll my eyes sometimes. Just thought I'd throw that in there. I think she knows what she's talking about, wouldn't you agree?

Guaranteed that when you give him his space, he wants to spend more time with you. Remember women fall in love in a man’s presence. Men fall in love in a woman’s absence!

3. Keep your vibe positive around him at all times. Do not overwhelm him with any negative feelings and by negative feelings I mean fear that he will leave you for another woman; fear that he is cheating on you or seeing someone else; panicking because you haven’t heard him in the last hour.

I do not know how they do it but men detect desperation from a mile away. If you wear that perfume, you will see the back of him soon enough. And that is NOT what you want...

4.Keep yourself busy. I know that there are things that you love to do. You have dreams, goals and aspirations. Get to them! Focus on them. Nothing turns a man on more than a woman who can get up and go and get ahead in life and is not overly focused or too bothered about him.

Right so with these four tips, I think you are well on your way to keeping your guy. If you want more information and more advice on how to do this, have a look at this method !

As always, if you have any questions or concerns about your relationship you can always shoot me an email at askalyssak@gmail.com like some of you have been doing or comment below the post!

Ciao bellas,

Alyssa K

Saturday, April 24, 2010

When Should I Call Him?

Hi Ladies,

Let's talk about calling guys.

Have you ever been in a situation where you met a guy and you two had a great conversation? He asked you for your number at the end of what you thought was a great conversation, in fact you two exchanged numbers…

Or have you ever been on date with a guy and you two had a lovely time? Conversation was flowing. You felt at ease with him. You thought you had a great connection. There were definitely sparks flying. At the end of the date, you said good bye and expected to meet up with him again soon…

Or, or have you been seeing a guy and he was calling and texting and everything was cool for about a month or two and then he suddenly became distant…

And then, a few days passed and, horror of horrors, he did NOT call…then the over-active brain syndrome kicks in…

You begin to wonder:

Wait, he hasn’t called…

Why hasn’t he called?

Why did he stop calling?

Was it something I said or did?

You hold the phone in your hand and will it to ring. After a few hours or days of that, you call up a girlfriend to beat the drum of the guy not calling. You dream up endless possibilities as to why the guy hasn’t called yet and think that there is a possibility that he may never call you.

Maybe he wasn’t interested…

Maybe he’s married…

Maybe he has a girlfriend…

Maybe he lost your number…

Maybe he lost his mobile phone…

Maybe he’s ill and in hospital…

Maybe he got into an accident…

Maybe he was beamed to another planet…

Then curiosity gets the better of you and your girl friend you called and she tells you… “Just call, just call the man”. Mind you, she is just telling you to go ahead and call him because by now she is sick to death of hearing you whine. So you call even though, your instinct tells you NOT TO.

Does this sound familiar?

Here’s the thing. It could be that he’s playing it cool, like in the first two examples and not wanting to come on too strong.

On the other hand his not calling you probably has NOTHING at all to with you. You know why? Because he is probably NOT thinking about you. If you have this much time to sit down and analyse why a guy is NOT calling you, then you need to find a hobby quick!

I’m serious!

Back to the issue of calling a man . Here is why you should NOT call him in the initial stages of dating. There is protocol too for calling when you are in a relationship.

1. When you make that first call, you are emboldened to make another and another so it gets to the point where YOU are in essence chasing him.

2. When you chase him, you are taking on the role of the pursuer, i.e. the role of the male. That, bella, is NOT your role and it will never be.

3. You chase him and you will NEVER create the type of attraction it takes to draw him into you. You are supposed to be gently drawing him to you, not beating him over the head and dragging him back! Stop it because it will not work.

4. When you initiate calls or other messages, you can never know how interested the guy is in you. When you sit back and let him do the calling and the pursuing, then YOU can gauge his level of interest. Besides, he likes that because that is HIS role.

Of course, there are instances where you can call and initiate contact with a man. If you know that you have always had a problem where this is concerned, download a copy of Calling Men…the Complete Guide to Calling and Emailing the Men You Date. This will give you the insight you need on when you should call him.

Understand that until you master this aspect, you will not be the woman that men adore and never want to leave.

If you have been calling and chasing after a guy, stop it! Just drop the ball for a few days and see what happens. Watch the magic unfold! Don’t forget to share how it worked out for you!

If you need any specific advice or have any questions, email me at askalyssak@gmail.com. Always happy to hear from readers!

Ciao bellas

Alyssa K

Become an Irresistible Woman!

Hey,

Question, were you nice again today?

Why is it that we women are attracted to the rude boy type? It’s almost as if we are drawn to them. We can’t get enough of the bad boys.

Why is that? Because we think they are challenge, that’s why.

We think that if we stick around long enough we will somehow change them and that they will want nobody else but us. They will fall in love with us and live happily ever after.

Sorry but it does NOT work that way. They will just end up saying we are too “nice” and go off and find someone else who is a challenge… but you get what I am saying?

You see the connection I am making here?

To be irresistible to a man and get him hooked on you, you have to toughen up and become a bitch This sends his attraction for you through the roof!

Becoming a bitch
does not mean that you become a nasty, vile, obnoxious human being. That is NOT what we are talking about at all. We are talking about holding yourself in a way that forces a man to respect and value you because you do not give yourself away.

When you are a “bitch”, you are a bad girl of sorts, a challenge and let’s not forget that men thrive on the challenge.

Men are hard-wired to go after what they want. They like the chase, the hunt…whatever you want to call it. If you deny them that, you have already lost.

If you are not providing that challenge, you will never create the type of attraction that will cause a man to want to be with you and only you.

For those of you who find it hard to get tough or who need to understand exactly what to do, you need a manual that teaches you exactly what to do.

You can download How to Become A Bitch A Guide For Beginners and find all the information you want on:

-how to hold yourself when on dates

-how to talk to and interact with guys to create mystery and allure

-how to make a guy feel drawn to you and inspire him to give you the world

-the “Male Code”

-how to seduce and tease a man

-the secret to get a guy to chase you

These are just a few tid bits because there is just so much more. The good thing is that you can begin reading it and implementing the techniques immediately!

When you practise the secret to getting a guy to chase you, I dare you to come back here and say that it does not work!

Don’t forget to download your “three bonuses” as well. Make sure you have all the information!

When you get this tool and start practising the techniques inside, I dare you to tell me that you do not feel in control of your life and that you don’t have more men vying for your attention!

I dare you to tell me that you did not become irresistible!

Ciao bellas

Alyssa K

Friday, April 23, 2010

Are You a Nice Girl? Become a "Bitch"

Hello ladies,

What’s going on? Just came back from a step class! I had a great time. There is nothing better than working up a sweat at the gym.

Oh by the way, the gym is a great place to try out some of the techniques, secrets and resources we’ll be talking about here! For those of you who have boyfriends, you’ll be using the techniques and resources to keep your guy hooked on you.

Okay on to today’s discussion!

Have you ever had a guy tell you you were too nice? I had a guy tell me that when I was about 16. To this day I remember that!

Didn’t think too much about it at the time but I realized he was an idiot so I stopped hanging out with him and talking to him. Suddenly I wasn’t so nice then but lo and behold, he started to blow up my phone trying to get me to talk to him!

So what does that mean when guys say that you are too nice? Well it means that it’s time to become a bitch, in simple terms.

Don’t get all up in arms. By bitch I mean that you need to become a “Babe In Total Control of Herself”.

What does being too nice mean?

It means that:

1.You are paying the guy you like too much attention
2.You put him on a pedestal
3.You are there for him when things are not going well
4.You are so understanding and he knows that he can call on you whenever he wants to talk
5.You are reliable and you stand by him
6.You try to help him solve problems
7.You call him to find out how he is doing
8.You invite him out to special events that you think he might enjoy
9.You listen to him and are attentive when he speaks
10.He knows all the above

Right so Step 1 of becoming a bitch is to focus on you. Start paying attention to yourself. Start putting yourself on a pedestal. Be there for YOU!

Realise that there is no need to put anyone, not even the guy that you think is the best thing since sliced bread, above you. Your guy or the guy you want is a human being just like you are. There is no need to put him on a pedestal. He doesn’t need anyone to worship him. He is not a god. Treat him like you would anyone else.

When you put him on a pedestal, all you are telling him is that you do not believe in yourself; that you think you are not worthy of him. When you do that, pretty soon he will lose all interest in you and go seek out someone else you puts herself first.

Why? Because he knows he has you exactly where he wants you. To him, you have just become boring as heck and suddenly he’ll start to display symptoms of ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder).

Learn how to become a bitch and you are on your way to meeting and keeping Mr. Right !

If you have always been a "nice girl" and you do not know how to become a bitch, click here for a tool you can start to use in the next few minutes!

Whenever you use any of the techniques you learn here, POST about your experience! Tell us how it worked for you!

Alyssa K.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

What is their Secret?

Have you been trying to find out what it is that will make guys hooked on you? I’m talking about making them go completely crazy over you as in falling all over themselves to be with you.

You ever noticed that some women just seem to know exactly what to do to make guys swarm them like bees to honey?

What is it about these women that make men feel as though they have to be with them and no other woman?

How do these women snag their guys and keep them completely hooked?

What is it that these women have? What is their secret?

Are they extraordinarily beautiful?

Are they supermodels?

Do they have the 36-24-36 figures?

Are they all high powered CEOs?

Are they millionaires?

Not all the time. But all of the women who get their guys to fall completely head over heels in love with them and manage to keep them hooked have a secret.

And that’s exactly what we’ll be talking about here!

Expect free tips and all sorts of other resources to teach you the art of getting a guy hooked on you. Your guys will love you for it because you now become their dream women! You become the woman your man simply cannot imagine doing without!

It won’t be all talk though, we’ll be taking action! You ladies ready? Trust me, you have the time of your life with this!

If you ever need specific advice or would like me to share your story or answer it on the blog email me at askalyssak@gmail.com! Looking forward to hearing from you!

Ciao

Alyssa K.